Round One
Boner Candidate #1: APPARENTLY HE DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT.
Boner Candidate #2: I NEEDED TO GET HER ATTENTION.
Florida Man Nicholas C Nelson was extradited from Georgia this week after allegedly sending 10,000 ext messages to a female acquaintance in a 12-day period. According to police some of those messages were sexually explicit, obsessive and threatened violence upon churches and airports. The texts were sent in April, and Nelson was taken into custody days later, but he was only recently released to Broward County law enforcement. According to the victim, the text messages began on April 5. The woman said the messages included strange, ominous declarations. “You and I, We die together,” one message read. Another talked about a desire to drive tanks around America & blow up churches. Nelson also left clothes on the front yard of the woman’s relatives and texted her a photo of an airport parking lot ticket and threatened to start blowing up planes to prove my point.
Boner Candidate #3: AN UNWISE CAREER DECISION.
Burger King doesn’t mess around when it comes to tampering with food. The fast-food chain reacted swiftly after five of its workers drew a pig on the order of a local cop. Timo Rosenthal, a police officer in New Mexico, swung by the establishment to order a burger for a mid-shift lunch. After driving away, he noticed the workers went a little off script while preparing his meal. Someone had taken a sharpie and drawn a pig with large eyes and a police badge on the white bag. Then, when he opened the burger, Rosenthal noticed it was burned. Rosenthal took to Facebook to share his experience with friends and family. He captioned the photo, “Well, while on lunch break (and in uniform) I ordered food at Burger King and received this. The patties were burnt and the burger was of very poor quality. Guess that was the last time I ate at Burger King in Clovis, NM.”
Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: HE WAS HERE A SECOND AGO
A mother said her 4-year-old son went missing after he walked out of Dewey IS Elementary School in St. Louis. She said her son was later found by strangers a half-mile away from the school.
LaTiffiany Carter told KTVI the school district has provided her with very little details and she doesn’t even know what door her son exited out of, what time he left, or how long he had been wandering the streets.Carter said she wants to see security changes put into place at the school. She said it was her son’s first day of pre-K and she has since removed him from the school. She’s grateful a man and woman stopped her son and called the police. She said officers knew there was a school nearby and brought him back.
Boner Candidate #2: MULTI-TASKING
When Sergeant Kyle Smith of the Washington State Patrol last night spotted a car on the shoulder of a road near the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport, he assumed the vehicle was somehow disabled. But when Smith approached the auto, he discovered that the male driver had pulled over while playing Pokémon Go simultaneously on eight separate phones. As seen in the above photo snapped by Smith, the driver had the phones secured inside a makeshift foam carrier rig. The driver, cops say, agreed to put the phones in the car’s rear seat before resuming his commute. The motorist, who was not identified by police, was not cited for distracted driving or any vehicular violations.
Boner Candidate #3: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU DIDN’T GET A FILET O FISH?
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