Boners

Boner of the Day for August 28th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate#1: DO ALABAMA REPUBLICANS HAVE ANY IDEA HOW OUR GOVERNMENT WORKS?

Alabama’s Republican Party is urging the state’s congressional delegation to begin the process of expelling freshman Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) from Congress. The state GOP supported a resolution calling for the congresswoman’s ouster at its summer meeting in Auburn this past weekend, according to Al.com. The committee reportedly approved the resolution on a voice vote after it was introduced by state Rep. Tommy Hanes. The resolution calls on Alabama’s congressional delegation to “proceed with the expulsion process in accordance to Article 1, Section 5 of the U.S. Constitution.” Omar, a Somali refugee who last year became one of the first two Muslim women elected to Congress, has sparked criticism from lawmakers on both sides of the aisle over her comments about issues tied to U.S.-Israeli relations. The resolution backed by Alabama Republicans condemns Omar for what it calls her “disturbing record of using anti-Semitic language that includes alleging Jewish money is used to buy American influence regarding its policy toward Israel.” The state Republicans also voiced opposition to Omar’s public support of the boycott, divestment and sanctions (BDS) movement that presses Israel on human rights issues in its conflict with the Palestinians and accused the congresswoman of engaging in “rhetoric that explicitly runs counter to American values and patriotism.” The resolution alleges Omar “dismissed” the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks and “sympathized with a convicted terrorist” by pushing for “sentencing leniency.” Read More 

Boner Candidate #2: HISPANICS WITH TINY HANDS

New York (CNN Business)A top Lowe’s executive apologized Tuesday, after saying a DeWalt power drill was perfect for “Hispanic pros with smaller hands.” “This is perfect for them. Lifetime warranty on this. What else could you want?” said Joe McFarland, Lowe’s (LOW) executive vice president of stores, in a corporate video broadcast to store employees Monday. The Washington Post first reported on the video. McFarland apologized after employees criticized his comments online, saying they were offensive. “I am sorry for a careless and ignorant comment I made during an associate broadcast yesterday,” he said in a company-issued statement, adding that he took full responsibility and will be “spending time in the coming days and weeks with our associates, customers and business leaders to learn and grow from this moment.” McFarland joined Lowe’s last year from JCPenney (JCP), where he oversaw that company’s stores, operations and merchandise strategies. He previously worked at Home Depot (HD). Lowe’s did not say whether he would face any consequences consequences for the comments. The company operates more than 1,700 stores in the United States. As of February 1, it employed approximately 190,000 full-time and 110,000 part-time workers in the United States, Canada and Mexico. Earlier this month, Lowe’s said it would lay off thousands of workers, including assemblers who put together items like grills and patio furniture. It will also cut maintenance and facility-service jobs, such as janitors, and outsource those positions to third-party companies. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: CRAB LEGS ARE EXPENSIVE

A trip to the grocery store ended with a Memphis mother and daughter being arrested after allegedly stealing hundreds of dollars worth of crab legs. Police said Felicia Hollins and daughter Gabrielle Hodges stuffed hundreds of dollars worth of food into a purse at an East Memphis SuperLo Foods on Quince Road, and when a store manager tried to stop them, detectives said things took another bizarre turn. Police said when the manager tried stopping the pair, she was reportedly “struck twice in the face” while Hollins and Hodges got away. “What’s wrong with them?” shopper Clord Thornton wondered. Thornton said the solution to enjoying things like crab legs is simple: work for it. “I’m 78, I have a lawn service business, and I work 7 days a week,” Thornton said. Another manager told WREG they weren’t too surprised to hear the seafood was swiped. They said crab legs and oxtails are both targeted items. Hollins and Hodges were later arrested, and detectives said the mom and daughter admitted to running out with the costly crab, which was valued at around $200. Both Hollins and Hodges are charged with theft of property and assault. They’re set to face a judge Wednesday.    Read More

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: PEE BEFORE WE GO…

A New Hampshire woman is fighting the state Department of Motor Vehicles over her 15-year-old vanity license plate showing a common parental phrase. A New Hampshire woman is fighting the state Department of Motor Vehicles over her 15-year-old vanity license plate showing a common parental phrase. News outlets report Wendy Auger, of Rochester, has been asked to surrender the plate, which reads “PB4WEGO.” The state says phrases related to excretory acts aren’t permitted. Auger’s appealing. She asked: “Who has a mom or dad or parental figure who hasn’t said that to kids before leaving the house?” She’s one of 92 New Hampshire drivers who received vanity plate recall letters this year. State records show there are 152,028 vanity plates on the road in New Hampshire. A DMV spokesperson said plates must be rejected “when they do not conform to legal requirements.” The spokesperson said the state cannot comment on the specifics of Auger’s case. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: I’M DOING EXTREME YOGAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

A Mexican college student is alive after falling 80 feet from her balcony while practicing a yoga pose.
Alexa Terrazas, 23, was known to do yoga on her sixth-floor apartment’s balcony, often using the guardrail as a prop for extreme poses. But a risky move nearly cost the yogi her life on Saturday afternoon, as she slipped and landed on the pavement outside her building in the northeastern Mexican state of Nuevo León, according to reports in El Imparcial. The health and nutrition student at Tecnológico de Monterrey was treated by paramedics with the Red Cross and Nuevo León Civil Protection, then brought to the hospital, where she underwent 11 hours of surgery. She was considered to be in critical condition as of Monday, having suffered fractures to both legs and arms, hips and head. El Imparcial reported that doctors had to “reconstruct” her legs, and that it may be three years before she walks again. People on social media asked their followers to consider giving blood to help her. As of Sunday, a relative of Terrazas tweeted that there was no need.

Boner Candidate #3: I GUESS LARA THINKS THE LITTLE GUY IS NOT VERY MANLY.

Lara Spencer admits she “screwed up.” The “Good Morning America” host has apologized again — this time, live on the air — for laughing last week while reporting that 6-year-old Prince George enjoys taking ballet classes. “I screwed up. I did,” Spencer, 50, said on Monday’s show. “The comment I made about dance was insensitive. It was stupid, and I am deeply sorry.”
Spencer was widely criticized for her demeanor and remarks during a segment last week, when she reported that Prince George’s school curriculum includes ballet. “Prince William said, ‘George absolutely loves ballet.’ I have news for you, William. We’ll see how long that lasts,” Spencer, a mother of two, snipped at the time. She initially apologized on Instagram. On Monday’s show, Spencer said she since has spoken with “several members of the dance community” and has “learned about the bravery it takes for a young boy to pursue a career in dance.” Spencer interviewed three professional dancers — Robbie Fairchild of “Cats,” Travis Wall of “So You Think You Can Dance?” and Fabrice Calmels of The Joffrey Ballet in Chicago — for a piece that aired Monday.
A number of professional male dancers, including Wall, had shared angry videos online in response to Spencer’s initial comments about ballet, saying she had “added fuel to the fire to a massive problem in this country, which is bullying.” Read More 

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