ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: I’D LIKE A JUDGE OR AN ATTORNEY TO EXPLAIN THIS TO ME
SANDY — A Layton man accused of following groups of young girls several times over the last decade now faces more time on probation after he pleaded no contest to looking under dressing room doors of two teen girls in Sandy. Before ordering Chad Dee Flitton to a year of supervision and a mental health evaluation, 3rd District Judge Paul Farr made it clear he will order six months in jail if the 43-year-old Flitton reoffends during the 12-month period. “With the concern for the community, I want 180 days to be available if there are future offenses,” Farr said. He set a Nov. 14 hearing to check in to evaluate Flitton’s progress, including whether he has undergone the mental health evaluation. In February 2017, the two teens accused Flitton of looking under the dressing doors at The Shops at Southtown. He was cited and released, and has spent the last two years in and out of jail on other charges. On Thursday, Farr sentenced him to the six-month jail term but suspended the sentence in favor of probation. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: CHAINSAW GUY HAS MOVED TO FLORIDA
Gainesville, FL — A Gainesville man is behind bars Wednesday after deputies say he shouted at a woman and threatened her with a running chainsaw Monday night. Dustin Waters, 36, approached a woman who was with friends at a Northeast Gainesville residence, and began to verbally fight with her while holding a chainsaw, according to an arrest report from the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office. After the woman locked herself in the passenger seat of her friend’s car, the report said, Waters slammed the hood of the vehicle and cranked the chainsaw. He ran the weapon along the front bumper of the vehicle and the passenger window, which damaged the paint, the report said. Deputies arrested Waters on two charges of aggravated assault, damage to property and resisting an officer. He was also arrested on an active warrant for domestic battery by strangulation. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: THEY POO POO.
PROVO — Utah’s debut of new offensive coordinator Andy Ludwig produced similar results. The Utes had just 125 yards of offense — 68 of them through Doak Walker Award candidate Zack Moss — at halftime, and clung to a 9-6 lead at the break. But the best offense is a good defense. Somewhere, head coach Kyle Whittingham is smiling. Francis Bernard and Julian Blackmon each returned an interception for a touchdown, and Utah pulled away for its ninth-straight win over rival BYU 30-12 in front of an announced crowd of 61,626 fans Thursday night at LaVell Edwards Stadium. “Our offense really exerted their will on the defense in the second half, especially in the third quarter,” Whittingham said. “I thought Tyler Huntley did a great job of taking care of the football, running the offense and making good decisions.” Moss led all rushers with 181 yards and a touchdown on 29 carries for the 14th-ranked Utes (1-0), who have not lost to their in-state rivals since 2009. BYU running back Ty’Son Williams ran for 45 yards, including a 10-yard touchdown in the fourth quarter, to lead the Cougars (0-1). But after Williams scored BYU’s first touchdown of the game in the fourth quarter, rain deluged the near-sellout crowd in Provo and forced an hour-long delay that brought the game’s conclusion well past midnight. Read More
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ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: AN INVESTIGATION DETERMINED THAT WE DID NOTHING……WRONG.
Baby Jordan came into this world shivering on a thin mattress across from a toilet inside a dirty Denver County jail cell on July 31, 2018. His mother, Diana Sanchez, 26, is now suing Denver city and county officials after she says she was left screaming in agony for hours over a year ago, with no anesthesia, no doctors, no family, or anyone at all to aid her in her delivery. The then-pregnant mom had been taken into custody two weeks earlier for identity theft-related charges, according to the Denver County Sheriff’s Department. Recently-released surveillance video shows Sanchez’s now one-year-old son being born at 10:44am that day, nearly six hours after his mother told a jailhouse guard she was going into labor. The guard reportedly refused to come to Sanchez’s aid when her water broke an hour after she alerted him. Moments later, Jordan took his first breath before a male nurse, who had been watching Sanchez from outside the jail cell, walked in and picked up her naked child. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: BOOO! BOOOO!
Rep. Steve Womack (R-AR) held a town hall in Rogers, Arkansas this Tuesday, where he commented on several hot topics, one of which was gun control. At one point, Womack was loudly booed when he suggested that gun violence is the result of children growing up in single parent households. When the discussion turned to guns, Womack declared, “We have too many kids growing up in single parent households,” and he was immediately met with loud jeers. “We will vote you out!” one woman yelled. “Blaming that is bullcrap!” a man rose to his feet and yelled. Womack later tried to claim that gun violence was also due to a declining belief in God, but was interrupted by loud jeers once again. “Shame on you!” one person shouted. As Shareblue’s Oliver Willis points out, Womack was among the 188 Republicans who voted against a bill to enhance background checks that passed the House earlier this year. A vote on the measure still hasn’t happened, thanks to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: COME ON GOV. THAT’S NOT SOMETHING YOU FORGET
Gov. Kay Ivey (R) apologized and said she couldn’t recall the incident. But she also said she wouldn’t deny “the obvious” after an audio recording surfaced. The governor of Alabama publicly apologized on Thursday for participating in a skit that involved her and her sorority sisters wearing blackface while she was a senior at Auburn University in the 1960s. In a statement, Gov. Kay Ivey (R) offered her “heartfelt apologies for the pain and embarrassment this causes, and I will do all I can ― going forward ― to help show the nation that the Alabama of today is a far cry from the Alabama of the 1960s.” “While we have come a long way, we still have a long way to go,” Ivey said. The governor said she doesn’t remember wearing blackface or the details of the skit ― but she also didn’t deny her part in it. As part of her apology, she released a recording of a radio interview she and her then-fiance Ben LaRavia gave in 1967, according to The Associated Press. LaRavia describes Ivey, who was student body vice president, wearing “blue coveralls” and “black paint all over her face” at a Baptist Student Union party. Read More
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