ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: BOYS, YOU GOTTA BEWARE OF THEM LDS GALS.
USU police chief Earl Morris warned football players earlier this fall to make sure sex with LDS women is consensual because they might regret it later and tell their bishops otherwise.
Boner Candidate #2: PUPPY SCAM.
After paying $4,800 for a puppy she saw online and never received, a woman is warning others to be careful of breeder scams.
Boner Candidate #3: WE GOT OVER HALF A MILLION FROM THE FED SO WE’RE GONNA RAISE RENT ON THIS DUMP.
The Downtown West apartment complex in Salt Lake City received almost $700,000 in federal aid to help pay residents’ rent but later announced they were increasing rent prices up to $400 more per lease.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: DO THESE PEOPLE THINK NO ONE RECORDS WHAT THEY SAY?
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene recently claimed that she is “against hate of any kind against anyone”, apparently forgetting the many times she has been filmed saying Islamophobic things.
Boner Candidate #2: SOME THINGS ARE NOT FORGIVABLE.
Louisiana judge Michelle Odinet is asking for “forgiveness and understanding” after a video that was filmed in her home contained audio of people calling a burglar the N-word.
Boner Candidate #3: I CRIED FOR A WEEK.
A Mississippi woman accidentally live-streamed herself having sex with her husband on Facebook and her dad ended up tuning in, she said she “cried for a week straight”.
