Round One
Boner Candidate #1: “I GAVE HIM JUS ENOUGH TO SHUT HIM UP”
Florida woman allegedly poisoned her boyfriend’s drink because he wouldn’t stop talking. She is facing poisoning food or water with intent to kill or injure charges. VIA nbc-2
Boner Candidate #2: WHAT THE?! HOW DID THAT GET THERE?
Florida man denies owning drugs that were found “Wrapped around his penis”. VIA tsg
Boner Candidate #3: BURGESS OWENS. NOW THERE’S A REAL MAN.
Utah Rep. Burgess Owens attacks the vaccine, trans people and more at a Right Wing Conference on Sunday. VIA SLC Trib
Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: MAN, NEW YORK COPS SURE KNOW HOW TO PAR-TAY!
At a holiday party, an NYPD rookie gave her lieutenant a lap dance that was all caught on camera. VIA New York Post
Boner Candidate #2: WE AREN’T GOING IN THERE. NUH-UH.
A man in a care facility died from cardiac arrest after paramedics refused to enter due to misunderstanding outdated Covid restrictions. VIA Daily Mail
Boner Candidate #3: THIS IS SO DIS-HEARTENING.
Allegations of a KKK group have caught the attention of the U of U authorities after feces was smeared on a black students dorm room door. VIA Daily Beast
