Boners

Boner of the Day for December 4th, 2019

ROUND ONE

 

BONER CANDIDATE #1: DRUNKEN SEX WHILE THE BOAT CRASHES

A deckhand on a luxury yacht in Australia pleaded guilty to negligence for having drunken sex with the captain when the unmanned charter boat crashed, causing $140,000 worth of damage. Cheya Handley, 26, admitted in court Monday to guzzling booze and hooking up on the bow of the 80-foot Crystal Blue with the skipper, as the pair returned the vessel from Brisbane to the Gold Coast on March 3, 2018, ABC reported. “Yeah, I did the wrong thing, drinking on the job. I should have known better, I screwed up big-time,” Handley said in a recorded interview with a maritime safety inspector played in court. “We were chatting, laying down, looking at the stars and then got it on,” she said, according to 7News. With no one at the helm or serving as lookout, the boat hit a navigation beacon and then crashed into a moored yacht before running aground.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: AUSCHWITZ ON ICE

The International Skating Union this week included an outfit made of Auschwitz uniforms worn by a Russian skater among a “best costume” list — then, after a public outcry, removed it and said it was included by mistake. The costume, which includes a Star of David and elements of Auschwitz guard uniforms, was worn by Anton Shulepov while he skated to the theme from “Schindler’s List” during a free skate routine in November. The ISU included the costume in a contest that allows fans to vote for their favorite outfits worn by skaters on Sunday. The organization removed it from the list by Monday morning, saying it intended to include a costume Shulepov wore to another skating event. “The ISU regrets that by error the wrong costume (Free Skating instead of Short Program costume) of Mr. Shulepov has been presented for voting,” the ISU wrote on Twitter.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: THE NECROPHILE COP

A Los Angeles Police Department officer has been placed on leave after body camera footage allegedly caught him fondling a female corpse, sources tell Eyewitness News. The officer with Central Division had gone with a partner to a death investigation at a home. During the investigation at one point, the officer’s partner had left the room. Sources say the officer turned off the recording on his body camera and then lifted the sheet off the woman’s body and allegedly began feeling her nipples and fondling her breasts. He later turned the body camera recording back on. But the cameras used by the department have a video buffering that saves footage going back for two minutes prior to the recording function being activated. A detective who was later reviewing bodycam video for the investigation saw the fondling on video and reported him. The officer was pulled from the field and assigned to home duty after this incident came to light, according to LAPD spokesman Josh Rubenstein. The union representing LAPD officers called the incident “extremely disturbing.”   Read More

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ROUND TWO

 

BONER CANDIDATE #1: HOW MUCH FOR THE CHILD?

A woman in Kentucky was arrested for selling her infant after an elementary school called police and said the mother gave her child away, a report said. Maria Domingo Perez was busted in Bowling Green for selling the baby to Pascual Jose Manuel and Catarina Felipe Jose for $2,000, according to Fox News. Investigators interviewed Perez, who gave conflicting stories, but eventually admitted she agreed to give the couple her baby. Manuel and Jose told police they agreed to pay $2,000 for the child, according to the report. Perez’s four other children were taken from her after the arrest.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: WE PUT THAT STUFF BACK ON THE SHELVES

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission and The TJX Companies Inc. have announced that 19 different recalled products were sold after they were previously recalled between 2014 and 2019. The TJX Companies Inc. is the parent company of TJ Maxx, Marshalls and HomeGoods. According to the safety commission, the latest recall involves about 1,200 units of recalled products sold to consumers. Consumers are advised to stop using the recalled products immediately and contact the recalling firms to receive the remedy listed in the recall, which is either a refund, replacement or repair. The recalled products have been linked to infant deaths, fires, burns, choking, falls, lacerations, skin irritation, explosions and other injuries. “We deeply regret that in some instances, recalled products were not properly removed from our sales floors, despite the recall processes that we had in place,” a TJX spokesperson said in a statement. “We are taking appropriate steps to strengthen these processes moving forward.”   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: FETAL BURIALS, THAT’S WHAT GRIEVING PARENTS WANT

The coming months could bring a resurgence of bills mandating burial or cremation of fetal tissue, a requirement that advocates say would increase costs for patients, burden providers, and shut down clinics. Since 2016, lawmakers in four states have passed laws regulating the disposal of fetal remains; three are blocked by the courts. In May, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld Indiana’s fetal burial law, signed in 2016 by then-Gov. Mike Pence (R) and requiring fetal remains be buried or cremated instead of disposed as medical waste. In 2019, Republican lawmakers in three states—Pennsylvania, Ohio and Wisconsin—introduced legislation relating to the disposal of fetal tissue. The Court’s recent ruling on Indiana’s fetal burial law could encourage more anti-choice lawmakers to consider similar measures, said Elizabeth Nash, senior state issues manager for the Guttmacher Institute. “Whenever there’s a court decision, abortion opponents look into it, and then plan their next steps,” Nash told Rewire.News. “We could see more [fetal burial bills] in 2020 if abortion opponents see this as a way to return to trying to close clinics.”   Read More

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