ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: SHURI, T’CHALLA WOULD BE VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU
“Black Panther” star Letitia Wright, who plays tech genius (and T’Challa’s sister) Shuri in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, had fans upset on Thursday night after she shared an antivaxxer video on Twitter and then began tweeting in apparent support of the position. For those who don’t know, “Antivaxxer” is a portmanteau describing people who adhere to a broad range of unfounded conspiracy theories about vaccinations (anti-vaccine). The movement, which grew primarily thanks to a thoroughly debunked scientific fraud that falsely asserted vaccination played a role in autism and also incorporates other false claims, has gained widespread support over the last 20 years with extremely dangerous consequences.
Boner Candidate #2: WE CAN DO WHAT EVER WE WANT
A couple were arrested and charged with reckless endangerment after they boarded a flight to Hawaii from San Francisco last Sunday, despite knowing that they had tested positive for the coronavirus, the police said. The couple, Wesley Moribe, 41, and Courtney Peterson, 46, of Wailua, Hawaii, were tested for the coronavirus in Seattle as part of Safe Travels Hawaii, a program that aims to limit the spread of the virus through testing and tracing. During a stopover in San Francisco, they were told to isolate and not to fly home because their results had come back positive, the police said. The couple, however, ignored the instructions and boarded a United Airlines flight home, “placing the passengers of the flight in danger of death,” the Kauai police said. The flight from San Francisco to Hawaii typically takes more than five hours.
Boner Candidate #3: A HARSH SENTENCE FOR RADIO PLAYING
A pensioner who was repeatedly jailed for playing Classical FM too loud has died in prison. Ian Trainer, 83, was sent to prison for 24 weeks in February 2020 after breaching the conditions of a restraining order that was given to him in 2019. It forbade him from playing any audio above normal talking level, which is above 65 decibels. However, he was jailed again for breaching the order after his release. The Ministry of Justice confirmed to Newsweek that the pensioner from Aintree, Merseyside, had died. A spokesperson said: “HMP Liverpool prisoner Ian Trainer died in hospital on 23 November. The Prisons and Probation Ombudsman has been informed.”
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: PINCH ‘EM…COME ON, GIVE ‘EM A PINCH
St. Petersburg, FL. – After being placed in shackles due to alleged drunkenness, a Florida collegian told cops that being restrained “gets me off,” and then requested someone “pinch my nipples,” Cops allege that Joseph Lancaster, a 22-year-old University of South Florida student, caused a disturbance early Sunday after refusing to pay an $820 bill at a St. Petersburg nightspot. After Lancaster argued with security guards, his friends stepped in and paid the bar tab.
Boner Candidate #2: SNOOZING IN THE DRIVE THRU AT WHITE CASTLE
SHIVELY, KY – A Kentucky mayor crashed her silver Cadillac into a utility pole after falling asleep in the drive-thru line at a White Castle, police say. Beverly Chester-Burton, mayor of the Louisville suburb Shively, was charged with driving under the influence after the incident Tuesday night, the Louisville Courier-Journal reports.
Boner Candidate #3: WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT LEFT WING ATTACKS
On Thursday evening, the New York Young Republican Club held its 108th annual gala, in person. It did not feature Sarah Palin, who had been booked for the event but canceled because of concerns about flying to the New York area from Alaska in the middle of a pandemic, according to someone familiar with her thinking. It was not held at the Caldwell Factory, the site listed on the club’s Facebook page. A spokesman for the venue, in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan, said that management had “no knowledge of this event,” adding that no events had been booked there for months. The only certitude about the gala was that it had morphed into one of the more controversial party-planning decisions in New York City history — and, in the end, the event was not even held in the state.
