ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT. GANGS OF LUNATICS BURNING DOWN REPUBLICAN XMAS TREES ALL OVER THE CITY.
Meghan McCain is receiving backlash after she tweeted about the “lunatics running around New York City setting Fox News Christmas tree on fire”.
Boner Candidate #2: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.
An OnlyFans user in Indonesia has been arrested after posting a video where she is seen exposing herself in an airport parking garage.
Boner Candidate #3: CAMEL BEAUTY CONTEST ROCKED BY BOTOX SCANDAL.
The Saudi Press Agency reported on Wednesday that over 40 camels had been disqualified from a camel “beauty contest”, the King Abdulaziz Camel Festival, because the camels were found to have received cosmetic alterations.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: THE JAIL HAS A ‘PATRIOT’S WING’.
At the D.C. Correctional Treatment Facility, they have created a “Patriot Wing” that holds about 40 men that attended the Capitol Riot. These men gather at 9 pm every night to sing the national anthem.
Boner Candidate #2: OKAY. A FINE. BUT I THINK HANGIN’ IS TOO GOOD FOR ‘EM.
The South Salt Lake Company Cytozyme Laboratories, Inc. is being charged with two counts of unlawful discharge of pollutants and ordered to pay $2 million after an investigation found that they had been dumping pollutants into the sewer system.
Boner Candidate #3: LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF WITH KARAOKE.
A substitute teacher at a high school in Austin has been asked to leave after he brought a karaoke machine to class and started singing “Toxic” by Britney Spears.
