Round One
Boner Candidate #1: VACCINE CHASERS
Since last March, the 18 clinics I run in South and Central Los Angeles have been on the frontlines of COVID-19. Like many providers, we’ve faced unbelievable obstacles throughout the pandemic. To name a few: There were the shady businesses that popped up in the midst of the crisis to make a quick buck on masks and gloves, the scramble to shift appointments to telehealth when many of our patients do not have internet access, and the overall lack of guidance from the last presidential administration. Now that the COVID-19 vaccine is being rolled out, we’re facing another unexpected reality: mobs of angry vaccine chasers. Our clinics serve more than 100,000 people, most of whom are Latino and Black, and many of whom are extremely low income. We are the largest COVID-19 vaccine provider in South L.A., and we have provided more than 20,000 vaccines over the past three weeks to health care workers and seniors—mostly people of color—from the area. Despite the fact that California is still in Phase 1B of vaccine distribution, in which largely only health care workers and seniors are qualified to receive it, every day, hundreds of mostly white, unqualified Westside residents are flooding our clinics.
Boner Candidate #2: THE LAST STRAW FOR CARA DUNE
‘Mandalorian’ co-star Gina Carano will not be making another appearance on the hit show, Lucasfilm announced, after she was accused of comparing Republicans to Jews living in Nazi Germany in an Instagram post. Carano took to her Instagram story on Wednesday with a shared post from another user, referencing the plight of Jews living under the Third Reich and drawing a broader point about the persecution of political opponents. “Most people don’t realize today that to get to the point where Nazi soldiers could easily round up thousands of Jews, the government first made their own neighbors hate them simply for being Jews,” the post said, adding: “How is that any different from hating someone for their political views?”
Boner Candidate #3: I DONE IT CAUSE HE LOVED ANIMALS.
An Arkansas man pleaded guilty on Monday to placing dead animals on his late neighbor’s grave. As part of his plea deal, Joseph Alan Stroud, 79, would only have to admit to misdemeanor defacing objects of public respect, not the felony version, according to The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. In court he insisted he did it for the sake of the dead man, but the judge did not buy it, as that account also clashed with the backstory. Stroud received a suspended sentence of one year and was given a 30-day deadline to pay $2,529 in restitution to replace the headstone. According to the probable cause affidavit obtained by Law&Crime, police were called on July 31, 2020. An officer spoke with Shannon Nobles, the granddaughter of the late Fred Allen McKinney. She said that around May 31, her family began finding dead animals on her grandfather’s grave. They first believed it was just a coincidence — that perhaps the animals were dying after eating fake floral arrangements. But it kept happening. They came to believe someone was doing it on purpose.
Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: MIKE LEE… ANGRY OVER SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T MATTER…
The second day of former President Trump’s impeachment trial ended in chaos after an effort by Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) to remove remarks by the House impeachment managers from the official record sparked widespread confusion. After the House managers announced they were wrapping up for the day, Lee stood at his desk on the Senate floor and asked to strike comments made by the House lawmakers that related to him. “Statements were attributed to me moments ago by the House impeachment managers. Statements relating to the content of conversations between a phone call involving President Trump and Sen. Tuberville were not made by me. They’re not accurate, and they’re contrary to fact. I move pursuant to Rule 16 that they be stricken from the record,” Lee said. Lee appeared to be referencing statements made by Rep. David Cicilline (D-R.I.), who, while giving part of the House managers’ presentation, said former President Trump tried to call Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-Ala.) on Jan. 6 and instead called Lee.
Boner Candidate #2: WHY MAKE HIM WEAR A COLONIAL NOOSE
AUCKLAND, New Zealand — A Maori politician who says a necktie is “a colonial noose” showed up in New Zealand’s Parliament without one this week. He was promptly booted from the chamber, highlighting the tension between the vestiges of New Zealand’s colonial history and its Indigenous culture. The politician, Rawiri Waititi, co-leader of the center-left Maori Party, instead wore a hei-tiki, a traditional pendant, around his neck in the chamber on Tuesday. In a heated exchange about the official dress code with Trevor Mallard, the speaker of the House, Mr. Waititi said he was wearing “Maori business attire.” As he left the room, Mr. Waititi told Mr. Mallard: “It’s not about ties — it’s about cultural identity, mate.” The whole episode, which resonated beyond New Zealand’s borders, prompted a subcommittee led by Mr. Mallard on Wednesday evening to debate whether the hei-tiki constituted business attire, and to consider abandoning the tie rule.
Boner Candidate #3: YOUR SENTENCE WASN’T HARSH BECAUSE… WELL, CINNABON
Key West, FL — The Florida Man who threw a large rock through the window of a Wendy’s after discovering that the fast food joint was no longer selling Cinnabon rolls has been convicted of two criminal charges, but has been spared jail, according to court records. In a deal with prosecutors, Dustin Tyrrell, 21, pleaded no contest to criminal mischief and throwing a missile into an occupied building. While the felonies carried a combined statutory maximum of 20 years in prison, Tyrrell was sentenced to four years probation during a January 28 Circuit Court hearing. Tyrrell, seen above, was also ordered to stay away from a Wendy’s in Key West and have no contact with the restaurant’s owner or his family. Additionally, Tyrrell must pay more than $4300 in restitution for damages caused to the eatery. As detailed in an arrest report, Tyrrell was collared outside the Wendy’s on Duval Street, the main drag in Key West. A witness told cops she saw Tyrrell repeatedly throw a rock at the window until it passed through the glass into the crowded restaurant.
