ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: TRUMP IS DONE BEING A UNION MAN
Donald Trump quits — SAG! He still can’t tweet, but the former president was quick to dash off a sharp resignation letter to a union representing actors, broadcasters and performing artists, after the group threatened to remove him. Trump on Thursday penned the snippy note to say he was quitting SAG-AFTRA after the union took steps to potentially revoke his membership for his incitement of the deadly Jan. 6 riot at the U.S. Capitol. “Who cares!” Trump wrote to SAG-AFTRA President Gabrielle Carteris, who publicly released the missive soon after getting it. “While I’m not familiar with your work, I’m very proud of my work on movies such as Home Alone 2, Zoolander and Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps; and television shows including The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Saturday Night Live, and of course, one of the most successful shows in television history, The Apprentice – to name just a few!” Trump wrote.
Boner Candidate #2: IT FELT LIKE THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
Mesa, AZ — A woman in Arizona caught speeding told officers she didn’t pull over for them because she “felt like it was the right thing to do,” the Mesa Police Department said. In a release from the agency, officers say Hannah Clevenger was speeding, weaving in and out of traffic, and taking up two lanes at once with her car. One officer says after he got behind her car and turned on his car’s lights, she looked at him through her driver’s side mirror but didn’t pull over. The officer then turned on his patrol car’s siren along with his lights “to further grab Hannah’s attention.” Still, Clevenger didn’t pull over. Eventually, the cars reached a red light and the officer says he got out of his car to talk to Clevenger, who “stared at him without saying a word.”
Boner Candidate #3: CHINA NEEDS THEIR BOYS TO BUTCH UP
A proposal to boost the “masculinity” of young students has been widely criticized in China. According to the Chinese Ministry of Education’s “Proposal on Preventing the Feminization of Male of Adolescents,” local governments will soon be required to increase the number of gym teachers and tweak gym classes so that they can help to “cultivate masculinity” of young students. Among the requirements, schools are being asked to “scientifically arrange the exercise load of the physical education class” and “vigorously develop” sports like football. According to the South China Morning Post, the Ministry of Education’s plan , which was announced last week, aims to improve male students’ mental and physical health while education officials conducted further research. It came in response to a suggestion by a top political adviser named Si Zefu, who said that China needed to combat an increasing “feminization” of young men, described by him as “delicate, cowardly and effeminate.” Si called for an increase in the number of male teachers to “combat the issue” while voicing concern over the “threat to the development and survival of our nation.”
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: IT’S THE ONLY CHOICE FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME.
President Biden’s recently appointed climate czar, John Kerry, took a private jet to Iceland in 2019 to receive the Arctic Circle award for climate leadership, Fox News has learned. Kerry defended his high-pollution ride at the time, calling it “the only choice for somebody like me who is traveling the world to win this battle” in an interview obtained by Fox News. The incident had not been previously reported in the American press. Ólafur Ragnar Grímsson, who led the Arctic Circle Roundtable, criticized Kerry for traveling to the event via private jet, Icelandic outlet RUV reported. Kerry received the award, which took the form of an iceberg sculpture, for being “a consistent voice pressuring the American authorities to commit to tackle environmental matters,” the outlet noted. Icelandic reporter Jóhann Bjarni Kolbeinsson confronted Kerry at the event over his choice of transportation, asking: “I understand that you came here with a private jet. Is that an environmental way to travel?”
Boner Candidate #2: GRAFT IN THE CATTLE INSPECITON DEPARTMENT.
Utah cattle inspectors got high-powered rifles they didn’t need and ATVs they didn’t use. They deposited fees in their private bank accounts before reimbursing the state and drove state vehicles for personal use. Those were some of the findings of an audit released Thursday that criticized the Utah Department of Agriculture and Food for having a “weak control structure” that “would not adequately prevent fraud and abuse from occurring.” Conducted by the Office of the Legislative Auditor General, the investigation revealed that: Livestock inspectors were depositing cash fees into their personal accounts and then writing personal checks to the department. The inspection program purchased several “high-dollar assets,” including horse trailers and ATVs, that were never used. The program bought 15 AR-15 rifles for $15,000 that inspectors do not use or need. Cattle inspectors were using state vehicles for personal use. Inspectors charged inconsistent fees, and they were turning in reports and fees months after collecting them.
Boner Candidate #3: I’M A VERY REGULAR AMERICAN WHO JUST STUMBLED ACROSS THAT STUFF
The House of Representatives has voted to strip Republican Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene of her committee assignments, following uproar over her past incendiary comments and apparent support of violence against Democrats. Thursday’s vote was 230-199, with 11 Republicans joining with all Democrats to back the resolution. The vote comes a day after the House Rules Committee advanced a resolution, put forth by Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, D-Fla., to remove Greene from her assignments on the Budget panel and the Education and Labor Committee. The Georgia freshman has come under fire in recent weeks for her history of trafficking in racism, anti-Semitism and baseless conspiracy theories, along with her support for online comments encouraging violence against Democratic officials prior to taking office. Greene spoke on the House floor ahead of the vote and said her past comments “do not represent me.” Calling herself a “very regular American,” Greene said she “stumbled across” the far-right QAnon conspiracy theory at the end of 2017 but stopped believing in it a year later when she “started finding misinformation.” But Greene has continued to spread false, QAnon-fueled theories since then, telling a local news reporter in July 2020 that she was “concerned about a deep state.”
