ROUND ONE
BONER CANDIDATE #1: MA’AM, THAT DOESN’T COVER YOUR CRACK
Medicinal crack? An east Florida woman who allegedly had crack cocaine in her car told police she had a prescription for medical marijuana, which was why her car smelled like pot when she was pulled over. She was unable to explain why there were six crack rocks in a container from a legal pot dispensary police found under a seat in the automobile, according to TC Palm. When asked to present her medical marijuana card, the unidentified suspect pointed cops to a hooded sweatshirt in the vehicle. That’s where they reportedly found a crack pipe. Read More
BONER CANDIDATE #2: FOR CLEAN ONES, YOU NEED PRIME
A New Jersey mom says she got more than she bargained for when she discovered the diapers she ordered off Amazon were already used. Nassly Sales said she ordered two boxes of Luvs Diapers to her Jersey City home from the site’s warehouse section, where goods that have been opened and returned are offered at a discount, news station KYW-TV reported. But she was shocked when the package arrived with soiled diapers inside. “I take the plastic bag out and immediately notice that it is heavier than normal,” Sales wrote Thursday on Facebook. “I turn on the lights to my greatest shock. These diapers are SOILED!” Sales said she immediately feared that the package — which reeked of feces and urine — could endanger the health of her immunocompromised daughter. She disinfected the nursery then contacted Amazon, which offered to give her the refund on a gift card because she used a gift card for the original purchase, Sales wrote on Facebook. “I want a regular refund. I’m afraid to shop at Amazon again,” she wrote. Sales said she contacted the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention about the disturbing episode. Read More
BONER CANDIDATE #3: WE ARE THE REDMEN, DAMMIT!
In recent years, the number of sports teams with names like “Chiefs” or “Tomahawks” has been dwindling as schools reckon with the fact that many Native Americans and others consider these mascots to be offensive racial caricatures. But in a departure from the trend, officials in Killingly, Conn., voted on Wednesday to reinstate the “Redmen” as the local high school’s mascot, over objections from the Mashantucket Pequot Tribal Nation and Nipmuc Tribal Nation. The decision came just months after Killingly High School’s sports teams were rebranded as the Red Hawks, sparking fury among longtime residents and sweeping a Republican supermajority into office during November’s school board election. The dispute has divided the former mill town in woodsy northeastern Connecticut, where registered Democrats outnumber Republicans, but voters overwhelmingly supported Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election. For years, students at Killingly High School had periodically suggested that the name should be changed. But according to the Hartford Courant, the idea didn’t gain momentum until the spring of 2019, when a student was allegedly pelted with fruit and called racial slurs, prompting a larger discussion about racism. Read More
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ROUND TWO
BONER CANDIDATE #1: YOUR CANDLE SMELLS LIKE…AH, LIKE…
Gwyneth Paltrow is selling a vagina-scented candle in her Goop store. The 47-year-old actress has listed a $75 candle, which she has cheekily named ‘This Smells Like My Vagina’, for sale in her online Goop shop and revealed that the geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar scented candle, originally started as a joke. According to the product’s description: ‘This candle started as a joke between perfumer Douglas Little and GP—the two were working on a fragrance, and she blurted out, “Uhhh..this smells like a vagina”—but evolved into a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent. ‘(That turned out to be perfect as a candle—we did a test run at an In goop Health, and it sold out within hours.) ‘It’s a blend of geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed that puts us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.’ Read More
BONER CANDIDATE #2: FIRST SNOW OF THE YEAR
The White House tweeted out this photo last night, declaring “First snow of the year!” The tweet confused a lot of people, to say the least, largely because it didn’t snow at all in Washington, D.C. yesterday. In fact, it reached 70 degrees on Sunday afternoon, according to the National Weather Service. Why did the Trump regime send out a tweet about the first snow of the year? One possibility is that they’re just lying to “own the libs” or something. But the other possibility is that they’re just a full week behind on their tweets. The photo the White House tweeted out last night on January 12 is actually from January 7. How do we know the photos is actually from January 7? The official White House Flickr account first published the photo over there. But even the caption for the photo on Flickr noted that it wasn’t just snow falling that day. There was also rain. The North Portico of the White House is seen during a snow flurry Tuesday afternoon, Jan. 7, 2020, in a mix of snow and rainy weather in the Washington, D.C. area. Read More’
BONER CANDIDATE #3: MMMM, GAMEY
“Naked and Afraid” veteran Gary Golding did the unthinkable when he came across a dead baby dolphin on the beach … he sliced it open and ate it. TMZ’s obtained this disturbing video showing Golding recently coming up on a dead baby dolphin that washed up in Laguna Beach, CA. Golding — returning to the Discovery Channel in the new series “Naked And Afraid: Alone” — at first says he wants to open up the baby dolphin to check if there’s any plastic inside. Watch the video … Golding justifies his actions by saying he doesn’t want the “poor creature” to go to waste. He then rips out the baby dolphin’s heart with his bare hands and says he’ll nourish himself and prove he’s a true scavenger by eating the dolphin’s heart. For those still not queasy at the whole thing … Golding later grills the meat and eats it. he said it definitely tastes gamey. Read More
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