Boners

Boner of the Day for January 14th, 2022

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: AH, HE’S SUFFERED ENOUGH.

Judge Robert Adrian of Illinois who had originally sentenced 18-year-old Drew Clinton to a mandatory four years in prison for “sexual assault” has now reversed his decision saying that the 5 months Clinton has spent in prison has been “plenty of punishment”.

via NY Times

Boner Candidate #2: THE NIRVANA BABY HAS USED HIS CELEBRITY STATUS TO PICK UP CHICKS.

Even after a judge dismissed Spencer Elden’s lawsuit against the band, The Nirvana Baby has amended the lawsuit and continues to claim that the record label “intentionally commercially marketed the child pornography.”

via Uproxx

Boner Candidate #3: A MASKLESS GORSUCH.

Last Friday the Supreme Court met to discuss Biden’s vaccine mandate and all members were wearing a mask except for Neil Gorsuch. Sonia Sotomayor chose not to attend because of Gorsuch’s choice.

via NY Times

 

 

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: STOP TOUCHING YOUR BEARDED DRAGON.

The CDC recently tweeted about a salmonella outbreak among bearded dragons. Apparently 44 people in 25 states have contracted salmonella from touching a bearded dragon.

via WHDH

Boner Candidate #2: THE COURT SAID I HAD TO KEEP THIS THING CHARGED.

A man was arrested after the police were called on him because he was acting strangely and asking for an outlet to charge his ankle monitor. The side-by-side he was riding in was later found to be stolen.

via Wink News

Boner Candidate #3: I GOT THIS DRY MIST THAT’LL KILL IT.

In an interview on Glenn Beck’s podcast in the summer of 2020, Herschel Walker claimed he had a “dry mist” that “will kill any Covid on your body” when you walk through it.

via Newsbreak

 


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