Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for January 6th, 2020

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1: POOR, POOR HARVEY

Days away from the start of a criminal trial at the center of the #MeToo movement and a potential conviction that could send him to prison for decades, Harvey Weinstein is addressing the 26 months since the allegations of sexual misconduct against him were first brought to light. The highly-anticipated rape trial against Weinstein begins Monday. The former film producer answered eight questions from CNN via email. “The past two years have been grueling and have presented me with a great opportunity for self-reflection,” Weinstein wrote. “I realize now that I was consumed with my work, my company and my drive for success. This caused me to neglect my family, my relationships and to lash out at the people around me. I have been in rehab since October 2017, and have been involved in a 12-step program and meditation. I have learned to give up my need for control.” Since initial bombshell reports by The New York Times and The New Yorker in October 2017, more than 80 women have accused Weinstein of sexual abuse ranging from harassment to rape. He is charged with predatory sexual assault, a criminal sexual act, first-degree rape and third-degree rape.  Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: MASTER CLIMATE SCIENTIST, MEAT LOAF

Rock musician Meat Loaf thinks Greta Thunberg has been brainwashed into thinking climate change is real. The singer, 72, said he “feels” for the 17-year-old, whom he thinks has “been forced” into her beliefs. “I feel for that Greta,” he told Mail Online. “She has been brainwashed into thinking that there is climate change and there isn’t.” He continued: “She hasn’t done anything wrong, but she’s been forced into thinking that what she is saying is true.” Meat Loaf’s comments come after global leaders and activists warned the bushfires currently ravaging Australia are an environmental emergency that must be tackled urgently.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: HE’S VERY SORRY

A Logan, Utah, man who admitted to molesting two girls under the age of 10 was sentenced to 60 days in jail. David Jackson was also ordered not to have contact with the victims or their family and to register as a sex offender for 10 years Monday as part of his sentencing, according to the Cache Valley Daily. Previously Jackson pleaded guilty to attempted forcible sex abuse that was amended to a third-degree felony. Judge Kevin Allen said Jackson’s crimes were abhorrent but said it didn’t serve the community or the victims to commit the defendant to a long jail sentence. He ordered that Jackson be taken to jail immediately to begin his sentence and did not give him any credit for time served. According to the Cache Valley Daily, his defense attorney told the court Jackson was remorseful and has suffered a lot of embarrassment. The lawyer also said Jackson was heavily using alcohol when the crimes were committed, playing a role in his behavior and requested probation.   Read More

ROUND TWO

BONER CANDIDATE #1: THEY FELT SEXUAL AROUSAL

A couple who were caught on camera having sex on a beach have issued an apology to police. Russian tourists Roman Grigorenko, 26, and Daria Vinogradova, 19, were filmed in Pattaya, Thailand on New Year’s Eve. After leaving a bar, the pair reportedly continued to drink on the sandy shores until a sudden urge kicked in. Ms Vinogradova was filmed unbuttoning her denim shorts, before doing the same to Mr Grigorenko’s jeans. The sexual act lasted for around 30 seconds before the pair scurried back to their hotel. The footage was given to police, who ordered five top officers to track down the couple after Police Lieutenant Colonel Piyapong Ensarn said the indecent act could “destroy” the good image of Pattaya as a tourist resort.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: YOU SUCK ONE TOE AND THEY CALL YOU A BURGLAR

A Florida man woke up on Christmas Eve to find a burglar sucking on his toes, according to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office. When the Bradenton resident asked the stranger what he was doing in his house, the stranger said he “was there to suck toes,” according to an incident report obtained by the Bradenton Herald. A fight broke out and during the struggle the suspect tried to grab the victim’s genitals and claimed to have a gun, the report says. Deputies said no weapon was found at the scene. The victim eventually forced the other man out of the house, but deputies say the suspect smashed one of the home’s windows as well as the windshield of the resident’s car.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: THE MANSPLAINING CONVENTION

Organizers say it is “destined to be the mansplaining event of the century.” Brought to you by the same Orlando-based bros who host the 21 Convention to “actualize the ideal man,” the 22 Convention is coming to “make women great again.” The May 1-3 event will be held at an Orlando location disclosed to only to those who pay for admission. Tickets cost $1,999 (there’s a sale for $999), and are only sold to women. All of the speakers are men. “Women today are being taught to act more like men,” says the 22 Convention website, which they say has led to divorce, depression, dysfunction, and rampant single motherhood. “No longer will you have to give in to toxic bullying feminist dogma and go against your biological nature,” say organizers. Mansplainers on hand to redirect the wayward women in attendance include convention founder Anthony Johnson, whose bio says his mission is to “destroy the feminist establishment,” Alexander Coates, described as a “fitness guru and modern-day philosopher winning the minds of men and the hearts of women,” and other right-wing personalities with hundreds of thousands of followers on Twitter and Facebook (which are definitely not Russian bots, like those of men’s rights activist and 21 Convention speaker Mike Cernovich).   Read More


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