ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT ANY OF THIS.
A Reddit post titled “AITA for peeing in the cat tray?,” on r/AmITheA**hole featured a woman asking if it was okay to pee in the cat’s litter due to her medications, and her partner occupying the bathroom for upwards of 40 minutes. In the post, she wrote: “My bladder hurts and I’m bursting and I figured the cats would forgive me,”
Boner Candidate #2: STIMULUS MONEY? FOR WHAT, EXACTLY?
A recent filling from the US Attorney’s Office of Massachusetts is demanding that the Boston Marathon Bomber, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, turn over money to his victims from his inmate trust account; including his $1,400 stimulus paycheck.
Boner Candidate #3: I’M CAITLIN JENNER’S BOY TOY.
After Rolling Stone’s top 100 guitarists list, Ted Nugent ranted that Joan Jett was on the list, but others like Derek St. Holmes weren’t included. During the rant he adds: “By the way, if Grandmaster Flash is in the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame and Joan Jett is on the list of top 100 guitar players, then I’m Caitlyn Jenner’s boy toy,”
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: MAN, SHE GOT HIM RIGHT IN THE GROIN.
During a chaotic arrest, a woman from Charleston County, SC, attempted to steal an officer’s taser, and bit a paramedic in the groin
Boner Candidate #2: THE MORAL HERE IS, AS WE’VE ALWAYS SAID, DON’T PUT THAT STUFF ON YOUR PHONE.
An employee from a Utah phone store stole a woman’s explicit photos after she came to have her phone repaired.
Boner Candidate #3: YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST THING ABOUT JAN. 6TH WAS? YOU’RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE IT WHEN I TELL YOU.
Former Director of National Intelligence, Richard Grenell claimed that of all the terrible things about January 6th, 2020, Donald Trump getting kicked off of Twitter was the worst part. Specifically he said: “January 6th was a terrible day because it’s the day Big Tech and the media kicked President Trump off Twitter and silenced his voice,”