Boners

Boner of the Day for July 16th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: WHY GIVE THIS GUY ANY RECOGNITION AT ALL.

The short guy in the New York bagel shop last week is putting his viral fame to good use … by getting in the ring and beating the crap outta other “celebs.” Chris Morgan just inked a deal Monday with fighting promoter Damon Feldman — who’s arranged for Chris to put on some boxing gloves and go toe-to-toe with someone later this year in Atlantic City. We got him out with his new crew … and he seemed pretty excited. Not as fired up as he was in Bagel Boss, of course, but stoked nonetheless. Chris tells us he’s willing to take on anybody foolish enough to face him … and needs minimal training. As for the fight itself, we’re told the bout is currently booked for September 7 at the Showboat Hotel. And, while no definitive opponent is set in stone quite yet … he could face someone just as viral — Antoine Dodson (the “hide yo kids, hide yo wife” guy). Damon says Antoine is currently on the same card as Chris — so it’s possible they might square up at some point. Money-wise, we’re told Chris stands to make anywhere from 5 to 6 figures … depending on ticket sales and online streams. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: A DANGEROUS EMAIL GLITCH.

When the Colorado Department of Human Services altered an email address for reporting suspected child abuse and neglect, no one deactivated the old address. A system created to prevent tips about child abuse and neglect from slipping through the cracks instead created a big one: Scores of messages sent to Colorado’s statewide hotline piled up unread for four years because of a mistake in an email address. The problem started in 2015, not long after Colorado created a statewide telephone and email hotline for reporting suspected cases. The Department of Human Services set up an email account, and then made a seemingly minor change, adding an underscore and the department’s initials to the email address to bring it in line with department standards, according to the Denver station KCNC-TV, which first reported the problem. The new address was released to the public, but nobody thought to deactivate the old one. So instead of bouncing back to the sender, messages sent to the old address landed in an unattended inbox. By May, when the department realized what was going on, there were 321 unread messages in that account. Most of them were spam, the department director, Minna Castillo-Cohen, told KCNC-TV. But her staff found 104 emails that were related to abuse or neglect, she said, including five that warranted urgent action. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: HE IS NFL MATERIAL

New York Giants safety Kamrin Moore has been arrested after punching a woman and standing on her neck during a violent domestic dispute. The NFL player, 22, has been charged with aggravated assault after he knocked the woman unconscious outside his home in Linden, New Jersey, on Thursday night.  The woman, who has not been identified, was taken to hospital covered in bruising and swelling, the police report states. Moore has now been suspended by the Giants. According to a criminal complaint seen by NJ.com, Moore punched the woman in the face and knocked her unconscious after he pushed her to the floor.  Read More

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: GOTTA MAKE A LIVING.

A Raleigh woman has been arrested after reportedly selling drugs out of a hotel room where she and her 1-year-old child were living. Officers said 34-year-old Saquanna Thorpe was using her room at the Budgetel Inn & Suites in downtown Raleigh to sell and store cocaine. Officers executed a search warrant in the hotel room on April 12 where Thorpe and her baby were living. During the search, officers found her to be in possession of more than 7 grams of cocaine, two digital scales and plastic baggies. Thorpe was arrested Saturday and faces multiple charges including misdemeanor child abuse, possession with intent to sell/distribute cocaine and to keep and maintain a vehicle, dwelling or other place for use, storage, or sale of a controlled substance. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: GRANDMA IS VERY TIRED AND SLEEPING.

Police have arrested a Texas woman who they say has lived with her mother’s decaying remains in plain view for the past three years. Investigators believe Jacqueline Crayton fell in the house she shared with her daughter and disabled granddaughter in 2016. Her daughter did not tend to her non-life-threatening injuries, police said in a Facebook post, resulting in Crayton dying on a bedroom floor at the age of 71. Police found Crayton’s remains last week while conducting a Child Protective Services investigation at the home where her daughter and granddaughter still live, Seguin Police Chief Terry Nichols said at a press conference. Delissa Crayton, 49, is facing a felony charge of injury to a child under 15 because police believe her daughter suffered from living in the two-bedroom home with her grandmother’s decomposing corpse. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: SHOULD WE BE FOCUSED ON THIS?

A Latina border patrol officer has become a viral sensation after she was pictured with Vice President Mike Pence during his recent border visit. Kiara Cervante has been dubbed #IceBae on social media for her good looks, but the nickname and her response to the overnight fame have been slammed by critics. Cervante created a Twitter account on Sunday night to respond to all the attention, and gaining nearly 23,000 followers in around 24 hours. One adoring fan tweeted: ‘#IceBae I’ve surrendered bae. Arrest me now’.Another wrote: ‘If she works for ICE she’s gonna melt the place.’ ‘Keeping America safe and looking good doing it,’ wrote one user, whose profile picture shows him wearing a red ‘Make America Great Again’ hat.  ‘#IceBae could detain me for however long she wants,’ someone else commented alongside the photo of the female officer that made her famous. Read More

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