ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: HE DARED ME
Pinellas Park, FL — A Florida Man arrested for “running in the street unclothed” at 2:45 AM told police that he went for the naked jog yesterday after being “dared by a friend,” according to an arrest affidavit. Konrad Tucker, 58, “did not seem bothered by the fact that he was nude while in public view,” a Pinellas Park Police Department officer reported. Seen at right, Tucker reportedly “could not advise where he was staying or who his ‘friend was.’” Additionally, Tucker “did not have access to any clothing.” Tucker, who is listed as a transient in arrest records, was charged with exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor. He is being held in lieu of $150 bond at the Pinellas County jail. Tucker’s rap sheet includes convictions for disorderly intoxication, passing a bad check, resisting arrest, and driving with a suspended license.
Boner Candidate #2: WELL HE ASKED FOR THEM
CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) — A former Miss Kentucky who admitted to exchanging sexual photos with a teenage student when she was working as a West Virginia school teacher has been sentenced to prison. Ramsey BethAnn Bearse, 29, received her two-year sentence in Kanawha County Circuit Court on Tuesday. She was also sentenced to an additional 10 years of supervised release and must register as a sex offender for life, according to Kanawha Assistant Prosecutor Meshell Jarrett. The former middle school educator pleaded guilty to one count of possessing material depicting minors in sexually explicit conduct in December 2019, news outlets reported. She was initially charged with four counts of sending obscene material to a minor. Authorities said Bearse admitted to exchanging photos with the student on Snapchat between August and October 2018. A parent of the male student reported finding the images on the teen’s phone, news outlets said. Bearse previously testified she meant to send a photo to her husband, but accidentally sent it to the teen. She claimed the student asked for additional photos, so she continued to send them because she was “afraid to not appease him.”
Boner Candidate #3: THE WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM HAS MORE THAN MASCOT PROBLEMS
Dan Snyder, the Washington team’s owner, is conducting a review of the team’s name and logo while overhauling the organization’s front office alongside its new head coach, Ron Rivera. The N.F.L. team in Washington has hired the law firm Wilkinson Walsh to review the claims of 15 women who, in an article published by The Washington Post on Thursday, said they were sexually harassed while employed by the team. The article detailed numerous allegations of sexual harassment, misconduct and abusive behavior by several team executives and football personnel over more than a dozen years. Male executives, the women said, commented repeatedly on their looks, sent them inappropriate text messages and pursued unwanted relationships. After The Post contacted the team with the allegations, according to the article, its longtime play-by-play announcer, Larry Michael, retired, while Alex Santos, the director of pro personnel, and Richard Mann II, the assistant director of pro personnel, were both fired. All three were accused of sexual harassment by former team employees, according to the article.
[polldaddy poll=10581123]
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: TAKIN’ SHROOMS WITH THE LORD.
OWENSBORO, KY. – A Kentucky man was arrested early Thursday morning after he was accused of burglarizing a home while he was naked, according to the Daviess County Sheriff’s Office. The sheriff’s office was initially dispatched to an area in Owensboro after a report of a naked man trying to hit vehicles with his hand, deputies said. While they were on their way, they learned of a burglary in progress in the area, police said. Deputies found 41-year-old John Stefanopoulos of Owensboro outside a home naked and covered in blood and mud, deputies said. Stefanopoulos ran toward one of the responding deputies, and the deputy deployed his Taser, striking him in the abdomen, an arrest citation states. He was then put in handcuffs before trying to run at the deputy again, according to the citation. After being read his rights, Stefanopoulos said he took “mushrooms with Jesus and that they were playing a virtual reality game together,” the deputy said. He said the deputies were not real and were a part of the game, according to the citation. The owners of the home told deputies they had never seen Stefanopoulos, the citation says. They found Stefanopoulos in their home “vandalizing items in their hallway,” deputies said.
Boner Candidate #2: TOO DRUNK TO PROPERLY BURGAL
Huntsville, AL — A restaurant in Alabama was reportedly the sign of an unusual crime. According to surveillance footage, a suspect entered the business while it was closed, attempted to steal money but seemingly got drunk after drinking too much booze. The incident at Phat Sammy’s in Huntsville, Ala., WAAY 31 reports. An unidentified man reportedly broke into the new business while it was closed and stole money from a cash drawer along with some of the restaurant’s alcohol. One of the partners, Jeremy Conception, at Phat Sammy’s spoke with the news outlet, describing the surveillance footage, “He finds some booze, he finds the lights and we thought for a while it’s two different people. At some point he realizes there is cameras. He goes to the back to where the employee room is and finds a dark blue cardigan and a dirty server apron and covers his face with the apron and puts a cardigan on and comes back on the cameras.” Conception also said that the suspect appeared to become intoxicated during the robbery. According to him, “[The suspect] became drunk, I think, during the burglary.”
Boner Candidate #3: YOU’LL LICK IT AND YOU’LL LIKE IT
A former Honolulu police officer will spend 4 years behind bars … after forcing a homeless man to lick a public restroom urinal or risk an ass-whooping. John Rabago was sentenced Wednesday and got a scolding from U.S. District Judge Leslie Kobayashi, who told the ex-cop, “You took from him his only possession: his dignity as a human being.” Rabago and another ex-officer, Reginald Ramones, found the homeless man inside the stall of a public restroom after responding to a nuisance complaint in 2018. Rabago threatened to beat the crap out of the homeless man and stuff his face in a toilet if he didn’t lick the urinal. Rabago’s also accused of stepping on the man’s legs to keep him on his knees until he complied with the disgusting demand. Ramones pled guilty to not reporting Rabago’s gross violation of someone’s civil rights. He’ll be sentenced next week. Assistant U.S. Attorney Tom Brady (yeah, it’s a pretty common name) said Rabago initially laughed about the incident and later denied it happened. Rabago’s also accused of telling Ramones to delete text messages about the incident. Brady said, “To be homeless, not knowing where your next meal is going to be, to be forced to lick … a dirty urinal by a uniformed police officer. There’s only one word that comes to mind: hopelessness.”
[polldaddy poll=10581124]
