ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: YOU KNOW THOSE CAMERAS CAN IDENTIFY YOU
Man arrested for supposedly shooting city cameras with a paintball gun on Saturday.
Boner Candidate #2: IT’S A FREE SPEECH RALLY, I THINK
Rep. Matt Gaetz promoted an appearance in California to support First Amendment Rights – then ragged on protestors for speaking out against him.
Boner Candidate #3: HE GRABBED THAT OLE GATER BY THE TAIL
A Florida man tried to throw a live alligator he had stolen from a miniature golf course onto the roof of a cocktail lounge, he told officers he was “teaching it a lesson”.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: THE POO CANNON IDEA WASN’T ‘CLEVER’ ENOUGH
After getting shot in the head with dog poo, Steve-o received medical assistance for a ruptured ear drum.
Boner Candidate #2: PICKLE PLEASURE
Florida man arrested for pleasuring himself with a pickle on private property.
Boner Candidate #3: WELL, HOW LONG DOES METH STAY IN YOUR SYSTEM
Iowa man googled, How long does meth stay in your system while in custody for drugged driving.
