ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: SOAP AND WATER DON’T ALWAYS GO TOGETHER
The Adventure Heights waterpark was temporarily shut down after someone poured soap and water in one of the tanks.
Boner Candidate #2: SWIMMING WITH DIARRHEA
The CDC shared some helpful tips about safe swimming on Twitter:
Don’t swim or let your kids swim if sick with diarrhea. One person with diarrhea can contaminate the entire pool. Learn more ways to keep you and those you care about healthy. #HealthySwimming https://t.co/3ogS3ZlQX6 pic.twitter.com/lbN6uvvufu
— CDC (@CDCgov) July 1, 2021
Boner Candidate #3: GOLDEN BLONDIE UNLOADS ON LE’VEON BELL
Le’Veon Bell, is being accused of ghosting his newest baby who’s mother called him a deadbeat father.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: ONLY WHEN I MAKE RIGHT TURNS
A California man was pulled over by police for having a Starlink terminal on the hood of his car. The man claimed that it only obstructed his view when he made right turns.
Boner Candidate #2: WELL, SHE DIDN’T HAVE TO GO FAR
A woman in Oklahoma is suffering from a flood of feces 4 inches deep in her apartment.
Boner Candidate #3: BOY, THAT’S A BULLET YOU GOT IN YER BUTTOCKS.
A man contacted police after being shot in his butt with a Roman candle, only to discover that it was an actual bullet fired from an actual gun.
