Boners

Boner of the Day for July 8th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: MY JOB IS VERY STRESSFUL

MOUNT PLEASANT, S.C. — A Mount Pleasant Police sergeant has been fired and charged after being found intoxicated while on duty, according to authorities. Officials said that, on July 3, they received a call for an individual passed out inside a vehicle. Responding police located a marked police SUV parked near the East Cooper Airport. Inside, they located Sergeant Matt Kinard passed out with an open beer can between his legs. Kinard was escorted back to the department where he was met by superiors. Officials determined that Kinard was intoxicated while on duty. Chief Carl Ritchie immediately fired Kinard. The former sergeant was charged with public intoxicated and was released on a Courtesy Summons. “The criminal consequences are consistent with those a non-law enforcement member of our community would be exposed to and we should not be expected to be treated differently in this circumstance. I am very disappointed that one of our police supervisors would conduct himself in this manner,” Ritchie said.

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Boner Candidate #2: MIXED MESSAGES ANYONE

WEST JORDAN– The Jordan School District reopens in the fall, and students will be required to wear masks. However, School Board President Bryce Dunford said they will not be enforcing that rule. “It’s hard to say we’re not requiring masks because we are, but we’re not going to deny someone an education who doesn’t wear a mask,” Dunford said during an interview with KSL News Radio’s Utah’s Noon News show. Dunford said they are following state guidelines when it comes to masks. Teachers will be given face shields, while Plexiglas barriers will be installed in their classrooms. What will the school year look like? As of now, classes will be held on campus Monday through Thursday, with Friday set aside for online classwork. Dunford said they will also have an online-only option for students and teachers most at-risk of getting a severe case of COVID-19.

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Boner Candidate #3: RE-WRITING THE LAW? NO, MIKE….UPHOLDING IT.

SALT LAKE CITY — Sen. Mike Lee spent an “ungodly” amount of time poring through the judicial opinions of Neil Gorsuch and wholeheartedly supported his confirmation to the U.S. Supreme Court three years ago. But recent Supreme Court decisions have the conservative Utah Republican questioning Gorsuch’s commitment to textualism and originalism in interpreting the law. Lee also has issues with Chief Justice John Roberts, who he said has made some “big mistakes.” Lee disagrees with Gorsuch’s majority opinion, which Roberts joined in a 6-3 ruling, that it’s unlawful to fire someone for being gay or transgender under the 1964 Civil Rights Act. He also criticized Roberts for siding with the liberal majority in a 5-4 decision striking down a Louisiana law regulating abortion clinics. Those rulings caused Lee to lament last month that “even the people who purport to be with us sometimes are not.”

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: SHOOTIN’ UP THE PLACE IS FUN

BOUNTIFUL, Utah (KUTV) — There are growing concerns from residents living near Bountiful’s iconic “B” about target shooting that’s happening on trails and the roadway. Neighbors in the area tell 2News this summer has been especially bad. Roseann Nelson loves taking her kids hiking on the trail below the “B.” She was there last Friday and was surprised to run into target shootings on the trail. “They were literally shooting on the trail,” Nelson said, “as you’re walking up, there were on the right hand side where you would have to pass through.” “There’s no rules up here,” said 14-year-old Anna Kikena. “When I’m walking with my parents, they’re just shooting. They don’t even notice us.” 14-year-old Anna Kikena lives just under the “B.” She said weekends are busy with reckless drivers, shooting and drinking. “There’s no rules up here,” Kikena said. “When I’m walking with my parents, they’re just shooting. They don’t even notice us.” It’s become such a problem, she took her concerns to the Bountiful City Council. Councilwoman Kate Bradshaw replied to Kikena’s email. “The frustrating thing from our perspective is that it’s outside of our city jurisdiction,” Bradshaw said.

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Boner Candidate #2: IF YOU’RE A COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYER….JUST PLAY FOOTBALL

Utah State offensive lineman Ty Shaw has been suspended while the university investigates racist remarks he made on social media. USU suspended Shaw, a senior out of Herriman High in South Jordan, in response to an online exchange he had with former Herriman and Snow College player Dylan Bennet. “This will not be tolerated and we have suspended the player immediately,” according to a joint statement released Sunday by athletic director John Hartwell and head coach Gary Andersen, “and pending investigation will take immediate action.” Shaw posted a Snapchat message Saturday wishing people a happy Fourth of July. Bennet had responded that the holiday wasn’t something that should be celebrated because the ratification of the Declaration of Independence only freed white people. After numerous exchanges that grew increasingly more heated, Shaw responded, “Y’all have months dedicated to ur oppressed asses and still so greedy to have more purely cause history didn’t treat your ancestors right. Y’all think ur above everyone else now but acting like you don’t have s—. Crazy how y’all people think.” Bennet then posted a portion of the conversation on Instagram along with Shaw’s email address. He later bragged on Twitter about getting Shaw suspended. He said Shaw had written him a long apology.

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Boner Candidate #3: HE WAS SANDWICH CRAZY

AKRON, Ohio — A 44-year-old man ended up in jail after police say he forced his way behind the counter of a Subway restaurant and ended up making his own sandwich. Don Peters was arrested without incident at the restaurant on the 1000 block of Kenmore Boulevard in the Kenmore neighborhood, police say. He was being held in the Summit County Jail on charges of disorderly conduct, criminal damaging, and open container. According to police, Peters was drunk when he went to the Subway at about 12:45 p.m. Saturday. Workers told officers that Peters was belligerent and demanded they make him a meal. He then began damaging plexiglass in the store, police say, before walking around the counter and making his own sandwich. Arresting officers say they found a bottle of vodka and a block of Subway cheese in Peters’ pockets. There were no reports of injuries.

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