Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for June 16th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: BRIDES LIVES MATTER, RIGHT?

A newlywed has been slammed as ‘tone-deaf’ ‘ignorant’ and ‘stupid’ after posing with a ‘Brides Lives Matter’ sign at her wedding. A photo of the anonymous woman, believed to be from the US, was shared to the subreddit r/weddingshaming and where users branded her ‘racist’ and ‘insensitive’ for belittling the Black Lives Matter movement. The post comes amid protests against racial injustice across the world, sparked by the killing of George Floyd by a white police officer in Minneapolis. A photo of the anonymous woman, believed to be from the US, was shared to the subreddit r/weddingshaming and crossposted to the Facebook group ‘ that’s it I’m wedding shaming’ where users branded her ‘racist’ and ‘insensitive’ for belittling the Black Lives Matter movement ‘I think this very well may be the worst thing I’ve ever seen on this sub’ said one Reddit user. ‘Oh yes… they can be tone-deaf and extremely self-centred’ added another. ‘I wonder if that means she’ll make her guests risk Covid infection!’ comment a third.

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Boner Candidate #2: HE DOESN’T LOVE ME NO MORE

An air passenger has been detained in China after allegedly attempting to smash open a plane window at 30,000 feet. The 29-year-old woman had drunk two bottles of super-strength spirits on her own due to emotional stress before boarding the domestic flight, according to police. One window cracked, and the Airbus A320 had to make an emergency landing as a result of the mid-flight fiasco. The woman allegedly resorted to alcohol to deal with her relationship problems after being ditched by her partner. According to the statement, Ms Li was travelling from Xining in north-western China to eastern Chinese city Yangcheng on May 25 with domestic carrier Loong Air. The woman had drunk two 250-millilitre bottles of ‘Bai Jiu’ – a type of Chinese grain wine – before boarding the flight. The traditional Chinese drink typically has an alcohol volume of between 35 to 60 per cent.

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Boner Candidate #3: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE GRABETERIA?

Back when there was no TRAX line in Salt Lake City, no super malls or Wal-Marts in town and men-only establishments were accepted as a normal custom, the Grabeteria was a popular eatery in the Continental Building on Main Street with a unique ambiance and dining style. “There were no stools, no counter, no booths, no tables,” said longtime Salt Lake Area Chamber of Commerce PresidentFred Ball, now retired. “There was just a shelf along the walls where the customers would grab their food, hence the name ‘Grabeteria,’ find a place along the wall and eat their lunch.”
It was a place to “eat, catch up on the news and to see and be seen,” Ball said. Offering the latest news was a Grabeteria hallmark: Magazine and newspaper articles were plastered on the walls so diners could squeeze into a spot and read up on current events while chowing down on sandwiches (which they prepared themselves from the ingredients on trays) and chili. Passers-by gazing into the small space the Grabeteria occupied — it could hold about 50 people, maximum, as long as they were standing up — would see men in their fedoras cramped shoulder to shoulder, reading their favorite magazine or newspaper.

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO THOSE GOLD BARS

SWITZERLAND — Authorities in Switzerland said they are trying to track down the owner of $190,000 worth of gold bars left behind on a train. The local prosecutor’s office in Lucerne said the approximately $190,000 worth of gold bars were found left behind after the passengers left a Swiss Federal Railways train that arrived in the city from St. Gallen. Officials said the gold was found in October 2019, but they are now appealing to the public for information after months of investigating failed to determine the origins of the precious metal. The prosecutor’s office said the owner of the gold is being given five years to come forward.

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Boner Candidate #2: TELL ‘EM IT’S THE TESTING.

Vice President Mike Pence encouraged governors on Monday to adopt the administration’s claim that increased testing helps account for the new coronavirus outbreak reports, even though evidence has shown that the explanation is misleading. On a call with the governors, audio of which was obtained by The New York Times, Mr. Pence urged them “to continue to explain to your citizens the magnitude of the increase in testing” in addressing the new outbreaks. And he asked them to “encourage people with the news that we’re safely reopening the country.” In fact, seven-day averages in several states with outbreaks have increased since May 31, and in at least 14 states, the positive case rate is increasing faster than the increase in the average number of tests, according to an analysis of data collected by The New York Times. The vice president played down the overall size of the outbreaks, stressing that some states were seeing what he called “intermittent” spikes of the virus.

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Boner Candidate #3: I WAS EMBARRASSED TO SAY I DID IT TO MYSELF

A Portland, Ore., man who falsely blamed an accidental gunshot wound to the groin on a homeless man was sentenced Monday to nearly six years in federal prison. Marcus Anthony Davis Jr., 35, was handed the prison term after pleading guilty to being a felon in possession of a firearm. He had been convicted of prior felonies and was on federal supervision for a drug offense at the time of the Jan. 8 shooting. “He paid a significant price with his physical injuries and the sentence he’s now going to receive,’ Assistant U.S. Attorney Lewis Burkhart said, according to The Oregonian. “I don’t think anything the court can say or the government can say can top the injuries he gave to himself to stop him from possessing firearms. Hopefully this is the last time we will see Mr. Davis.” Davis claimed he was robbed and shot by a white homeless man at a bus stop. Investigators found no evidence of a shooting or robbery at the location.

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