Boner of the Day

Boner Of The Day For June 28th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: THAT’S IT! NO MORE ENGLISH!

I thought I’d seen peak idiocy at last night’s Democratic presidential debate, when candidates Beto O’Rourke and Cory Booker both broke out into (quite poor) Spanish mid-answer, in a cringey effort to  pander to Hispanic voters and signal wokeness. But, as is so often the case these days, the Left’s insanity was quickly outdone by Fox News host Tucker Carlson, who offered a bizarre reaction to the first debate during a monologue on his show. After showing a hilarious clip of Booker’s terrible attempt at speaking Spanish, Carlson laughs at the camera. But what comes next isn’t funny. “You can add the English language to the long list of things the Democratic Party considers racist. How long before you’re banned from speaking it? Think we’re joking? Right… better to learn ‘Espanol’ if you want to talk to your grandkids… it’s a brand new world. Hope you’re excited for it.”

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Boner Candidate #2: I HAD TO DO SOMETHING TO GET THEIR ATTENTION!

A Pennsylvania man was just trying to save the planet from an alien invasion when he planted a bomb in a hotel parking lot, he told police. David Oxenreider, 28, was arrested over the weekend after he called his apartment building manager and said that he had built an “explosive device,” according to charging documents obtained by Penn Live. The building manager, Charles Kline, told the Myerstown man to take the bomb out of the building and he obliged, taking it outside and leaving it near a dumpster. Police responded to the building and put the place on lockdown, evacuating about 30 residents. Oxenreider’s bomb, two butane tanks filled with metal staples and wrapped in cloth, could have caused serious injuries, the Pennsylvania State Police Hazardous Device and Explosive Section told Penn Live. Oxenreider has been charged with manufacturing a weapon of mass destruction, causing or risking a catastrophe and terroristic threats.

Boner Candidate #3: A 10 THOUSAND DOLLAR FINE DOESN’T SEEM TO BE ENOUGH.

A fertility doctor who inseminated up to 100 women with his own sperm has been fined $10,000. Dr Norman Barwin, who ran Broadview Fertility Clinic in Ottawa, Canada, gave patients his own sperm instead of that of a donor or their partner, or mixed up samples. The misconduct, which dates back to the 1970s, was uncovered after one of the children became curious about her heritage and got a genetic test while a second developed celiac disease, a genetic condition that neither parent was a carrier for. The 80-year-old has been found to be the biological father to at least 16 children. Dr Norman Barwin inseminated at least 11 women with his own sperm and fathered 16 children at Broadview Fertility Clinic in Ottawa, Canada. He has been struck off by the regulator and fined Can $10,000 after one of his children did a genetic test which revealed that he was her father. Rebecca Dixon found out that Barwin was her biological father when she was aged 25. Describing the impact she said, ‘for a while I felt dissociated with my own face, as if the person looking back at me in the mirror wasn’t fully me anymore’. Kat Palmer realized with Rebecca that their DNA matched Describing his actions as ‘appalling’ and ‘reprehensible’, the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario said he ‘betrayed patients trust’.

Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: I KIND OF GOT SCREWED.

Teachers in Utah’s wealthiest school districts have to pay for substitute teachers. For Madison Gillette, it was a dream come true. Her new baby, Cooper, was finally born and she would benefit from what she thought was a generous leave policy from the Alpine School District. Gillette, a teacher at Grovecrest Elementary, was under the impression she could take a month off to care for her newborn and still get paid her full salary. Unfortunately, just days into her leave, she learned that she would have to pay $50 a day for the substitute teacher who would take her place during her time off. “I kind of got a little screwed,” says Gillette. Kimberly Bird, the assistant to the Alpine School District superintendent, says the district requires new teachers – those with 3 years or less of time with the district – to pay for their substitutes. Teachers with 4 years or more experience do not have to pay for fill-ins.

Boner Candidate #2: LEGAL ASSAULT.

When Ari Silver-Isenstadt was attending the University of Pennsylvania Medical School in the 90s, another student warned him about something that might happen during his OB/GYN rotation: A supervising surgeon might ask him and other students to perform a pelvic exam on a woman under anesthesia without her knowledge or explicit consent. The move would be just for practice and not for her medical benefit. To perform the exam, students insert two gloved fingers into the patient’s vagina and place one hand on her pelvis in order to feel the uterus and ovaries. Multiple medical students might do this, and patients would have no idea any of it happened. The practice of using non-consenting, unconscious patients as pelvic-exam training tools for medical students has continued to an unknown degree across the country since Silver-Isenstadt, now a pediatrician in Baltimore, first learned about it. It happens not only during gynecological surgeries, but also in the midst of unrelated procedures like stomach surgery. As a student, Silver-Isenstadt was ready to avoid doing such an exam at all costs, and his refusal became part of a movement to end the practice—an effort that would ultimately lead to statewide bans, first in California in 2003, then in Illinois, Virginia, Oregon, Hawaii, Iowa, Utah, and Maryland. While some individual medical schools like Harvard ban it, the practice remains legal in 42 states. For some current medical students—like Savanah Harshbarger, who enrolled at the Duke University School of Medicine in 2016—these pelvic exams are still routine. “I estimate that I did about 10 of these exams last year,” she said.

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Boner Candidate #3: HE’S DEFINITELEY COP OF THE YEAR MATEERIAL.

A Florida police chief said he will review his department’s process of handing out its annual Officer of the Year award after its most recent recipient was also named in two excessive force lawsuits and a citizen review board called his conduct “unprofessional and racist.” In February, the Orlando Police Department named Jonathan Mills its 2019 Officer of the Year for being a leader, a proactive officer and a motivator, the Orlando Sentinel reports. According to the award’s requirements, the person receiving the honor must display “outstanding job performance, dedication to duty, unsullied moral character, exceptional community service and professional police image.” Maybe I just have a terrible vocabulary, but Mills’ police record seems to reflect the direct opposite of that list of qualifications. Apparently, the police officers of Orlando use a totally different dictionary than you and me. Perhaps, in Orlando, “outstanding job performance” means pulling over the wrong car and—instead of letting the innocent person go—putting your hands down the man’s pants and “sexually assaulting” the suspect while claiming to search for drugs. That’s what a federal lawsuit alleges Mills did in 2014 when the officer stopped a citizen in a case of mistaken identity, according to the Sentinel. Court documents said the encounter caused bodily injury, a loss of dignity and described the incident as “shocking to the conscience.”

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