ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: SOMEBODY HAS TO BE THE WATER COPS
A fedora wearing man in Ogden spiked his neighbor’s tires because they were ‘using too much water’ during the drought.
Boner Candidate #2: SO, IT WILL BE ART IF SOMEONE GETS HURT, RIGHT?
Julia Fox says that the ongoing ‘beef’ between Pete Davidson and Kayne West is nothing more then ‘artistic expression.’
Boner Candidate #3: AN ILLEGAL MONKEY SALE.’
A man in Florida plead guilty to illegally selling monkeys to Chris Brown.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: YOU MEAN THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE?
A man who was arrested in Logan, Utah for kidnapping claimed that he mistook the woman he kidnapped for his wife.
Boner Candidate #2: YA’ GOTTA HAVE THE RIGHT DIET IF YOU WANT TO BE WOLVERINE.
A body-builder known as a ‘real-life Wolverine’ is famous for his diet of raw meat, including veal brains.
Boner Candidate #3: HEY, THEY’RE CONCERNED ABOUT PUBLIC HEALTH AND SAFTEY… GET ‘EM.
Local health officials in smaller communities are reporting death threats, vandalism and harassment for trying to prevent the spread and impact of Covid-19.
