ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: THIS CONTROLLED BURN WAS NOT CONTROLLED
A ‘controlled burn’ led to an out of control grass fire in Harrisville, Utah.
Boner Candidate #2: I NEED SOME SNACK MONEY
A 17 assaulted a man outside of a pizza shop because he needed some ‘snack money.’
Boner Candidate #3: HE’S JUST A MISERABLE HUGGIN’ HUMAN BEING.
In another example of textbook hypocrisy, Ted Cruz complained that the hearings for the new Supreme court nominee had become ‘too confrontational.’
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: YOU SURE DO.
A man in Ohio told cops ‘I do dumb things when I get drunk’ after headbutting and smashing the glass door outside of a police station.
Boner Candidate #2: MAYBE THIS WILL PUT THE FINAL NAIL IN HIS COFFIN
After a string of accusations, calls for Eric Greitens to resign have surfaced after his former wife accused him of physically abusing both her, and one of their sons.
Boner Candidate #3: HE’S REACHED A NEW LOW AND I’M SURE HANNITY WILL HAVE HIM ON THE SHOW.
After Ashley Biden’s diary sold for $40,000, the founder of Project Veritas James O’Keefe is making unsupported claims that the diary was acquired legally.