Boners

Boner of the Day for March 24th, 2020

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1: LET’S PARTY, CACHE VALLEY!

Local law enforcement is asking for the public’s help after it intercepted a large group of teenagers that attempted to gather for a party outside a high school Friday night. Cache County Sheriff Chad Jensen said school resource deputies learned about the party through social media posts. They were waiting at Sky View High School when the kids started to arrive. “The kids were going to gather and play a game of Fugitive,” explained Jensen. “The meeting was going to take place at a specific time and deputies were already on scene when the kids started to show up. “Deputies broke up the group pretty well, but all those kids broke up into smaller groups and dispersed all over the county to still play their game.”   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: SO YOU DON’T THINK THE ELECTION IS RIGGED, HUH?

A video went viral on Monday, showing WCIA airing Tuesday’s election results during a Monday showing of The Price is Right. The results showed Biden defeating Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) by just over 93,000 votes. “While watching The Price is Right our station accidentally runs tomorrow’s election results … its [sic] Monday our election in Illinois is tomorrow,” the woman, Sherry Daughtery, wrote alongside a video. She updated her post with a statement from Mark Maxwell, the station’s Capitol Bureau Chief, who said it was nothing more than a “routine test” rehearsal. Airing the dry run, he said, was an error. He stressed that the numbers were not based on any actual polling returns and added that the station “never intended to give the wrong information or wrong impression”: We do routine test rehearsals before every election to make sure the graphics work properly and to give directors some practice. The error was in putting the dry run on air. That shouldn’t have happened and we’re looking into it. Obviously, we never intended to give the wrong information or wrong impression. None of those numbers were based on any real polling returns. Since your post is being widely shared, I’d appreciate it if you would consider updating the original post so people don’t get the wrong idea.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: THEY SHOULD HAVE LEFT THE CUSTOMERS IN THERE

On Monday night, Queen City Lounge had 40 customers inside drinking and eating from a full buffet. On Tuesday afternoon, several arrests later, police boarded the place up. The Westwood bar had continued to operate as usual despite Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine’s order that all restaurants and bars in the state of Ohio end their dine-in services to prevent the spread of COVID-19, Assistant Police Chief Paul Neudigate said Tuesday. It was more than a risk to patrons, he added. “Now you’re putting first responders at risk because we get the information that they’re open, there’s 40-plus people inside, who knows who may have already come into contact with COVID-19, and now our first responders are having to interact with those folks,” he said. It wasn’t the first warning Queen City Lounge had received.   Read More

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ROUND TWO

BONER CANDIDATE #1: LET GRANDPA DIE AND GET BACK TO WORK, AMERICA

Texas’ lieutenant governor said Monday night that the U.S. should get back to work in the face of the global pandemic and that people over the age of 70, who the Centers for Disease Control says are at higher risk for the coronavirus, will “take care of ourselves.” Republican Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick made the comments while appearing on Fox News’ “Tucker Carlson Tonight.” Patrick, 69, went on the program after President Donald Trump said earlier Monday that he wanted the country getting back to business in weeks, not months. “Let’s get back to work. Let’s get back to living. Let’s be smart about it,” Patrick said. “And those of us who are 70 plus, we’ll take care of ourselves. But don’t sacrifice the country.” A spokeswoman for Patrick did not immediately return to an email seeking comment late Monday. Patrick went on to suggest on the show that there were lots of grandparents like him and that he doesn’t “want the whole country to be sacrificed.”   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: OH, THE CUTE CORONASAURUS

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BONER CANDIDATE #3: QUITE A BARGAIN INDEED

It was quite a bargain. An old but working laptop up for sale on eBay went for $100, and the buyer got classified information from Germany’s military as part of the deal. As Deutsche Welle explains, the gaffe started when the military sent decommissioned laptops to a recycling company it works with. The data within was obviously supposed to be erased, but “it can be assumed that an error occurred during the recycling of the computer in question,” per a military spokesperson. The bulky Bundeswehr laptop, made in the early 2000s for field use but still running fine with Windows 2000, then went up for sale on the online auction site. Fortunately for the military, researchers from a German online security company bought it, reports the Telegraph.   Read More

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