Boners

Boner of the Day for May 14th, 2021

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: BUSTED FOR GROUND BEEF BATTERY

An Ohio woman at Walmart struck another woman. Her weapon of choice was a 10-pound log of ground beef.

via The Smoking Gun

Boner Candidate #2: SURE MAYOR BEAVERS IS A DRUNK… BUT HE’S OUR DRUNK

McDowell County’s Mayor of War won his reelection, two days after being arrested for drunk driving, and possession of a controlled substance.

via Fox News

Boner Candidate #3: NO JOHNNY. YOU WERE TARGETED BECAUSE YOU ARE A DRUNK.

Major League Baseball player Johnny Damon has had his DUI case dropped by officials. Johnny was driving while having a blood alcohol four times above the legal limit. He claims that he was just being targeted for his support of Donald Trump.

via TMZ

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: HE WAS PRETTY EASY TO FIND.

A man who purchased a $58,ooo SUV with a fake I.D made the fatal mistake of posing for a photo at the dealership.

via WGN9

Boner Candidate #2: TRADING CARD WARS

The resurgence of Pokémon, and Major League baseball cards has led to fights in Target. Target has chosen to stop selling the cards to avoid any other incidents.

via Fox News

Boner Candidate #3: YES. A TERRIBLE MISTAKE

The now former CEO of local nonprofit Voices for Utah Children made the “mistake” of stealing money from the organization.

via The Salt Lake Tribune

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