ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: BUSTED FOR GROUND BEEF BATTERY
An Ohio woman at Walmart struck another woman. Her weapon of choice was a 10-pound log of ground beef.
Boner Candidate #2: SURE MAYOR BEAVERS IS A DRUNK… BUT HE’S OUR DRUNK
McDowell County’s Mayor of War won his reelection, two days after being arrested for drunk driving, and possession of a controlled substance.
Boner Candidate #3: NO JOHNNY. YOU WERE TARGETED BECAUSE YOU ARE A DRUNK.
Major League Baseball player Johnny Damon has had his DUI case dropped by officials. Johnny was driving while having a blood alcohol four times above the legal limit. He claims that he was just being targeted for his support of Donald Trump.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: HE WAS PRETTY EASY TO FIND.
A man who purchased a $58,ooo SUV with a fake I.D made the fatal mistake of posing for a photo at the dealership.
Boner Candidate #2: TRADING CARD WARS
The resurgence of Pokémon, and Major League baseball cards has led to fights in Target. Target has chosen to stop selling the cards to avoid any other incidents.
Boner Candidate #3: YES. A TERRIBLE MISTAKE
The now former CEO of local nonprofit Voices for Utah Children made the “mistake” of stealing money from the organization.
