Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for May 8th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: I NEED TO DOCUMENT THIS

Florida Man struck not once, but twice this week in the span of just two days. Local news outlets report that authorities arrested Robert Antonio Hughes of Leesburg, 33, after a high-speed chase through two Central Florida counties, Wednesday night. He was also reportedly caught FaceTiming his fiasco while hitting speeds of up to 110 miles per hour. Hughes led law enforcement on a chase down Interstate 75 after an initial traffic stop attempt at 10:13 p.m. in Marion County. According to the Florida Highway Patrol’s official statement, Trooper A.D. Schmidt initially tried to pull Hughes over in his Lincoln Town Car on an on-ramp to the interstate at State Road 44 for reckless speeding. However, he failed to comply. Hughes reportedly managed to reach speeds between 90 mph and 110 mph. In the meantime, he was seen FaceTiming his experience while driving during various parts of the pursuit. “It should be noted the defendant was FaceTiming on his phone while I was traveling behind with my lights and sirens activated,” read the officer’s quote in FHP’s statement. Marion County Sheriff’s Department later responded to the chase as well and attempted to stop Hughes with spike strips. The sheriff finally brought the pursuit to an end after conducting a precision immobilization technique, or PIT maneuver. Hughes was removed from the car and arrested on site. Upon searching the vehicle, the FHP trooper also found marijuana in the vehicle.

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Boner Candidate #2: WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR YOGA PANTS

A Florida woman pulled a small alligator out of her pants during a traffic stop Monday morning, authorities said. The unidentified woman showed an officer the reptile when asked, “Do you have anything else?” There were also 42 striped mud turtles and one softshell turtle in the woman’s vehicle when she was pulled over on a highway in Punta Gorda, some 100 miles south of Tampa, according to the Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission was called to the scene to investigate. The woman was cited for possession and bag limit violations for all three species, which are native to Florida but are regulated. The reptiles were then seized and released, according to a spokesperson for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

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Boner Candidate #3: I’M NOT RACIST. LOOK AT MY DOG.

He had reached the last step and was about to jump off the bus when he felt a tug at his back. A line of kids had already filed off ahead of him and at least five more had been standing behind him. But suddenly the bus lurched forward. And his body was pinned, dangling outside while his backpack was stuck in the door. The tires rotated inches from his white sneakers as the road rolled below him. He tried not to wiggle or pull loose, afraid that if one of the straps on his bag broke he’d be crushed under the wheels. After about 150 feet — and while students yelled at the driver to stop — the man pulled over again in front of West Point Junior High in northern Utah and opened the doors, dropping the boy on the sidewalk and allowing the rest of the kids in line to shuffle out. The boy, 14 years old and a seventh grader, was the only student of color on the bus. His family is now suing the school district, its transportation director and the driver for racial discrimination, saying he intentionally caught the boy in the door. They say there have been at least three other reports that the driver, John Naisbitt, targeted multiracial students before this. And while Naisbitt was never disciplined in connection with those prior allegations, they added, he quietly retired after the newest complaint.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: IT WAS THE ONLY THING HE COULD DO.

A Wisconsin man has been charged with a felony hit-and-run after striking a bartender with his car because he was not allowed to bring his dog inside the establishment. Kenneth D. Keaton, 50, reportedly intentionally struck the bartender at the Fin n’ Feather in Greenfield on March 14. According to police, Keaton had been disruptive inside the Fin n’ Feather before he tried to bring his dog inside, the Journal Sentinel reported. The bartender told Keaton the dog was not allowed. Keaton reportedly went back outside. Eventually, the bartender, who was not identified, believed Keaton might have damaged his car and went to check. Once the bartender was outside, Keaton “gunned it” and accelerated his car into the bartender.

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Boner Candidate #2: I DON’T THINK YOU’RE ALLOWED TO LOOK IN THERE

A woman who arrived at the jail next to Manhattan criminal court to visit a detainee last August was given a curt instruction: sign a consent form and undergo a search. Believing that she had no choice, the woman complied, a prosecutor said in court on Monday. A correction officer told her to pull down her pants and spread her legs, while other officers stood nearby and watched. She was then instructed to lower her underwear and remove a sanitary napkin. The officers found no contraband, the prosecutor said. This search was one of five illegal searches described in a 27-count indictment unveiled on Monday against five guards and a former supervisor who worked at the Manhattan Detention Complex on Centre Street, a jail known colloquially as the Tombs. The corrections officers were arrested and arraigned in State Supreme Court on charges including official misconduct, conspiracy, unlawful imprisonment and filing false documents. They all pleaded not guilty and were released without bail.

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Boner Candidate #3: I THOUGHT THIS WAS OKAY IN TENNESSEE

Tennessee House Speaker Glen Casada has named a new chief of staff one day after Cade Cothren resigned following the disclosure of racist and vulgar text messages. Casada confirmed Tuesday that Scott Gilmer will take over the role, saying in a statement: “I’m writing to inform you that I have asked Scott Gilmer to accept the role of Chief of Staff. As someone who served in this role under former Speaker Beth Harwell for nearly seven years, I am confident he is prepared to provide a steady hand and foundation in the House so that we may move forward and continue focusing on serving the State of Tennessee.” Casada went on to say that he “look[s] forward to having [Gilmer] serve in this role.” All of this comes days after NewsChannel 5 Investigates uncovered text messages from Cothren, showing racist comments, the use of illegal drugs and vulgar comments toward women. Cothren resigned late Monday.


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