ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: RAW MEAT EATERS
One of the most disgusting new trends involves eating raw and rotten meat. The goal is to achieve a high from the meat. Unsurprisingly, this is terrible both to think about but also for the health of anyone unfortunate enough to try it.
Boner Candidate #2: HE DIDN’T MEAN THE COOKIE
After a tweet from South Carolina’s Tim Scott about racism, Texas’s democratic party leader Gary O’Connor called Tim Scott an “oreo.” Gary O’Conner has since apologized, and resigned.
Boner Candidate #3: A DESPERATE BID TO STAY IN THE SPOTLIGHT
The ex-husband of Joe Exotic reveals that the infamous 3-way wedding from the Netflix series was nothing more then a publicity stunt with the goal of getting Joe a series.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: WHERE DID THOSE COME FROM?
While investigating the crash of someone who hit a mailbox, Officers noticed beer cans falling out of the driver’s side door with perfect comedic timing.
Boner Candidate #2: KID ROCK’S BAR WHERE THE ELITE, EAT MEET AND GREET.
A fight broke out between a man and police at Kid Rock’s bar and restaurant in Tennessee. The man used his colostomy bag as a weapon, striking officers with his feces.
Boner Candidate #3: MAKE HIM PAY FOR BEING HONEST
A resolution planned for TJ Osborne of the band Brothers Osborne was blocked by Tennessee’s House of Representatives. TJ Osborne was the first openly gay country music star in Tennessee. Co-sponsor of the bill, Rep. John Ray Clemmons claimed that someone approached him afterwards to say they voted against the resolution for no other reason then TJ Osborne’s sexuality.