ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. HOW ABOUT SOME COOKIES AND DOOR DASH?
After a Murray man was killed in a motorcycle accident, his family felt preyed upon when a local personal injury law firm sent cookies and a Door Dash gift card to their home to solicit business.
Boner Candidate #2: GULLIBLE AND STUPID.
A man in Australia stole over $800,000 from his employer claiming he needed to pay off dangerous criminals that were after a sex worker that he had fallen in love with.
Boner Candidate #3: AND THEY WON’T LET US SHOP AT GAMESTOP.
Legal action is being filed by a Utah citizen who is asking Gov. Cox to block mask requirements in businesses after being unable to shop at a Game Stop store.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: I NEVER DATED A MIKE. I DON’T EVEN KNOW A MIKE.
A woman in Washington woke up on Sunday to find her car vandalized with the words “Mike is a cheater” spray painted on the side of the car.
Boner Candidate #2: I CAN THINK LIKE A CRIMINAL…AND ACT LIKE ONE APPARANTLY.
Daniel Muessig, a defense attorney in Pittsburgh claimed that he could “think like a criminal” in a 2014 video. Over the summer he was indicted for selling hundreds of pounds of marijuana.
Boner Candidate #3: DON’T BLAME THE JUDGE; GOD TOLD HIM TO GO EASY ON THE RAPIST.
Niagara County Court Judge Matthew J. Murphy III recently sentenced 20 year old Christopher Belter to eight years probation after he pleaded guilty to felony charges that included third-degree rape and attempted first-degree sexual abuse, as well as two misdemeanor charges of second-degree sexual abuse.
