Boners

Boner of the Day for November 21st, 2019

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: KEEP PUNCHING JOE. OH, AND WHAT TIME IS IT?

Joe Biden really put his fist in his mouth this time. The former vice president had a cringe-worthy moment late in Wednesday’s fifth Democratic presidential primary debate when he used the words “keep punching at it” to answer a question about violence against women. Asked what could be done to address sexual violence and harassment against women, Biden said he’s authored the original Violence Against Women Act and that its reauthorization needs to pass. He also talked about changing the culture on college campuses and touted the “It’s on Us” movement created in the Obama Administration. “No man has a right to raise a hand to a woman in anger, other than self-defense and that rarely ever occurs,” he said. “So we have to just change the culture. Period.” Read More

Boner Candidate #2: OOPS

A North Carolina sheriff’s office says a firearms instructor has been injured in an accidental shooting on the job. The Wake County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement obtained by news outlets Monday that the instructor, a civilian employee, accidentally shot himself in the leg at the Wake County Firearms Education and Training Center on Sunday afternoon. Deputies said they responded to the shooting range about 20 miles (32 kilometers) southwest of Raleigh, on a call that the instructor had shot himself while re-holstering his gun. Investigators say the instructor was taken to a hospital with injuries that weren’t considered life-threatening. The instructor’s name hasn’t been released. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: THE NIGERIAN PRINCE

A convicted internet fraudster has been placed under investigation in Nigeria for allegedly masterminding a “mega scam” from a maximum-security prison worth at least $1m (£773,000). Anti-corruption officials said Hope Olusegun Aroke used a “network of accomplices” for the fraud. He was arrested in 2012 and has been serving a 24-year sentence at the Kirikiri Maximum Security Prison. But a preliminary investigation found he still had access to the internet. In a statement on Tuesday, Nigeria’s Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) said it had received intelligence about Aroke’s scam and was faced with the “riddle” of how he was able to “continue to ply his ignoble trade” from inside the Lagos prison. Following his arrest in 2012, the EFCC said the then Malaysia-based student was the “arrow head of an intricate web of internet fraud schemes that traverse two continents”. Read More

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: DON’T SULLY SANTA

Sean Francis Budge, 24, was arrested late Monday after witnesses told Stuart police he wore a Santa Claus hat after robbing a woman of her glasses and speeding away on a motorcycle, according to affidavits released Tuesday. The case began about 11:17 p.m. Monday when an officer went to The Crafted Keg in the 500 block of South Colorado Avenue near downtown Stuart. A woman there said a man identified as Budge took her prescription glasses off her head and left on his motorcycle. The woman and two others reported Budge left while sporting a Santa Claus hat. Meanwhile, an officer reported spotting a motorcycle traveling about 70 mph on U.S. 1 south near the Treasure Coast Square mall. The officer tried to stop the motorcycle, but the driver didn’t pull over. The officer reported the motorcycle rider wore a jacket and a Santa hat, and reached 80 mph on the Roosevelt Bridge. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: I DON’T HIT WOMEN

Charles Barkley apologized Wednesday after a reporter accused him of telling her, “I don’t hit women, but if I did, I would hit you.” In a statement released by Turner Sports, the former NBA star and longtime TNT basketball analyst called the comment “inappropriate and unacceptable.” “It was an attempted joke that wasn’t funny at all,” Barkley stated. “There’s no excuse for it and I apologize.” Axios reporter Alexi McCammond tweeted Barkley’s comment Tuesday night from Atlanta, where she is covering the Democratic presidential debate.  In another tweet, McCammond gave some context. “It was all because [Barkley] came in talking about how he loves Deval Patrick and once someone from [Pete Buttigieg’s] campaign came around he said he loved Pete and I reminded him he previously said he was a Deval fan,” she wrote.
McCammond also tweeted that when she objected to Barkley suggesting he’d like to beat her up, he told her she “couldn’t take a joke.” Read More

Boner Candidate #3: COME ON DOWN. I GOT COOKIES.

Pasco Sheriff’s deputies said they were called to a store at State Road 54 and Little Road in New Port Richey on November 19 after the suspect, who may have been facing mental health issues or “under the influence of an unknown substance,” climbed into the ceiling. Police said in a statement that the Walmart was temporarily evacuated while deputies worked with the man to try and persuade him to come out of the crawl space. “This is the type of thing where you never know what you’re going to get in a day our deputies never know what they’re going to face,” spokesperson Amanda Hunter of the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office, told Fox 13 News. After the suspect continued to ignore the officers and refused to come down, Tasers were deployed and he was detained. The suspect, who has not been identified, was then sent to a nearby hospital for evaluation. Officers want to determine if the man was suffering from any mental illness or was under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Read More

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