Round One
Boner Candidate #1: YOU DON’T SAY
Coronavirus cases are rising in almost every U.S. state. But the surge is worst now in places where leaders neglected to keep up forceful virus containment efforts or failed to implement basic measures like mask mandates in the first place, according to a New York Times analysis of data from the University of Oxford. Outbreaks are comparatively smaller in states where efforts to contain the virus were stronger over the summer and fall — potential good news for leaders taking action now. States and cities are reinstating restrictions and implementing new ones; in recent days, the governors of Iowa, North Dakota and Utah imposed mask mandates for the first time since the outbreak began. The index comes from Oxford’s Blavatnik School of Government, where researchers track the policies — or lack thereof — governments use to contain the virus and protect residents, such as contact tracing, mask mandates and restrictions on businesses and gatherings. Researchers aggregate those indicators and assign a number from 0 to 100 to each government’s total response. At its highest level of containment efforts, New York state scored an 80 on the index. At the beginning of November, most states were scoring in the 40s and 50s. Although many have taken fresh steps to contain the virus since then, the Times analysis compares cases and hospitalizations for a given date to a state’s index score from two weeks before, since researchers say it is reasonable to expect a lag between a policy’s implementation and its outcome.
Boner Candidate #2: NEO NAZIS; PORN STARS; MARINES
An active-duty Marine assigned to Camp Lejeune in North Carolina has been charged in an illegal firearms conspiracy—which prosecutors allege was run by a cabal of neo-Nazi ex-military men who wanted to create a “modern day SS.” The evidence includes a sickening video of live-fire weapons training that ended with the masked participants giving “Heil Hitler” salutes before a slide with the message: “Come home white man.” It also includes chat logs in which the men discussed shooting anti-racism protesters. Justin Wade Hermanson, 21, was named in a federal indictment along with Liam Collins, 21, and Jordan Duncan, 26, both ex-Marines who served at Camp Lejeune. The fourth person charged is Paul Kryscuk, 35, reportedly a porn star who specialized in abusing black women. Kryscuk, whose screen name was Pauly Harker, linked up with Collins, who was drummed out of the military last year for extremist posts, on Iron March— the now-defunct fascist forum that gave birth to the terrorist organization Atomwaffen Division.
Boner Candidate #3: GOOD PRODUCT PLACEMENT
Accused killer Kyle Rittenhouse got some help from a few famous people this week, and as a result, he’s free on bail. Ricky Schroder made a “significant contribution” which led to Rittenhouse posting $2 million cash bail … this according to Rittenhouse’s famed lawyer, Lin Wood. We’re told Schroder contributed $150,000 to the bail fund. Wood posted a photo of his client and Schroder, saying, “Thank you, All Donors. Thank you, All Patriots. Thank God Almighty.” In addition to Schroder, MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell also donated and attorney Wood thanked both Schroder and Lindell for “putting us over the top.” We’re told Lindell donated $50,000. 17-year-old Rittenhouse is now free pending trial. He’s accused of shooting and killing 2 men and wounding a third during the demonstrations in Kenosha, Wisconsin, surrounding the police shooting of Jacob Blake. He claims he acted in self-defense.
Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: THE BAR BRAWL
DONALD Trump Jr has shared a bizarre clip of his dad beating up political foe President-elect Joe Biden in a barroom brawl. The weird mocked-up video also features Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris versus Mike Pence, Rudy Giuliani and Chris Christie. Sharing it via Instagram, Don Jr gloated: “Now youse can’t leave!! Great remake from A Bronx Tale.” The doctored clip, created by SteveClipz, sees the heads of actors from the 1993 crime drama film – directed by Robert De Niro – replaced with their political counterparts. The video shows a tweaked version of a stern-looking Trump sauntering up to the bar door, before entering the crowded room. After slamming the door shut, he eyeballs Biden, wearing a vest emblazoned with the word ‘Satans.’ The weird video was slammed by one viewer who declared it was no wonder that Trump was just elected for one term. Patrons along the bar are shown to include versions of Harris, Obama, and Clinton. Following the line “they walked into the wrong bar”, ‘Pence’ is shown storming the venue, before a massive fight ensues. Biden is depicted hitting the floor after being punched by Trump. The violent clip got a thumbs-up from some fans. But one disgusted viewer pointed out: “I can’t imagine any other past President’s children posting stuff like this. “This is why Trump is a one term president. “Never again will we allow this to happen to our country! “Thank GOD we are once again in the hands of a decent man.”
Boner Candidate #2: THEY’RE STILL ON ICE
The bodies of hundreds of people who died in New York City during the Covid-19 surge in the spring are still in storage in freezer trucks on the Brooklyn waterfront. Many of the bodies are of people whose families can’t be located or can’t afford a proper burial, according to the city’s Office of Chief Medical Examiner. About 650 bodies are being stored in the trucks at a disaster morgue that was set up in April on the 39th Street Pier in Sunset Park. Before the pandemic, most if not all of the deceased would have been buried within a few weeks in a gravesite for the indigent on Hart Island, which is located in the Long Island Sound near the Bronx. But Mayor Bill de Blasio pledged in April that mass burials wouldn’t take place following reports that New York City was considering the use of temporary graves on Hart Island. Officials at the chief medical examiner’s office said they are having trouble tracking down relatives of about 230 deceased people. In cases like these, a spokeswoman said, it isn’t uncommon for the deceased to have been estranged from families and for next-of-kin details to be dated or incorrect. When next of kin have been contacted, officials said most bodies haven’t been collected because of financial reasons.
Boner Candidate #3: IT’S A DAMN HAMBURGER
In-N-Out Burger has made its way to Colorado, but instead of enjoying double-doubles and milkshakes … many Aurora residents are dealing with chaos and a 12-hour wait!!! A brand new location for the fast-food chain — which is a favorite on the west coast — opened Friday in the Denver suburb, and it seems demand is way too high to satisfy everyone’s appetite. The Aurora Police Dept. alerted everyone midday that the wait to get grub is 12 HOURS … and traffic is severely bogged down in the area. The police are warning folks the restaurant will likely close before they make it to the window, and strongly encouraging them to eat elsewhere. What’s worse — the long line of cars is apparently making hangry people get out and go “animal style” … as a major brawl broke out in which it appears one dude loses his pants. So, if you’re currently waiting in this In-N-Out line, take it from us here in California — the food’s worth the wait … but it CAN wait ’til tomorrow.