ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: I CANNOT JOIN IN THE CELEBRATION OF THE DECLINE OF MEN.
Senator John Hawly claims that “the left” is attacking manhood and masculinity, resulting in more men and playing video games. Specifically, he says: “Can we be surprised that after years of being told that they are the problem, that their manhood is the problem, more and more men are withdrawing into the enclave of idleness and pornography and video games?”
Boner Candidate #2: LETS RE-ARRANGE HIS SKULL SOME MORE
A flight attendant was struck in the nose by a passenger resulting in a severe concussion. The man who punched her claimed that he was returning from a surgery to “reconstruct portions of his skull.”
Boner Candidate #3: THE RATS ARE RUNNING THE KITCHEN
A video from a Popeye’s delivery driver shared a video featuring a biblical plague’s worth of rats running around in the kitchen.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: DON’T TRICK OR TREAT A POLE ASSASIN’S HOUSE.
Texas special teams coordinator Jeff Banks’ pet monkey and assistant in his girlfriend’s stripping act, allegedly bit a child on Halloween.
Boner Candidate #2: IF YOU DON’T SEE A DOG, THEN YOU’RE THE ONE WITH A PROBLEM.
A woman asking for advice on her tattoo leaves the internet divided on whether or not there is a penis in her tattoo.
Boner Candidate #3: OH, POOR ED SHEERAN
during an appearance on the Armchair Expert podcast, Ed Sheeran says that he was hurt by the negative response to his cameo on Game of Thrones.
