Boners

Boner of the Day for November 5th, 2020

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: LADIES, CHECK THE SUNGLASSES.

He has only his selfie to blame. A woman discovered that her boyfriend of four years cheated on her in the most 2020 of ways — by spotting a clue in a selfie. A video detailing the bizarre infidelity reveal currently boasts more than 1 million views. “That one time my boyfriend of 4 years snapchatted me him cheating on me,” reads the description of the short clip shared on TikTok Saturday by one Sydney Kinsch. The incriminating footage begins innocuously enough with Kinsch standing in front of a selfie of her alleged boyfriend, who is sporting sunglasses. Things take a turn, however, when she steps aside to reveal the reflection of a girl’s legs poking out of a car window in one of the lenses. The clip is aptly captioned “check the reflection in your boyfriend’s sunnies ladies.” The videographer later described in the comment section how she brought the bombshell to her beau’s attention.

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Boner Candidate #2: LAZY HUH? WE’LL SHOW YOU.

A controversial Salt Lake City school board member — who called teachers “lazy” and drew attention for attending meetings with his head tucked into in a blanket while playing solitaire on his computer — has been unseated by a newcomer focused on helping west side students succeed during the pandemic and after. With additional votes counted Wednesday, incumbent Mike Nemelka fell behind by a widening margin of nearly 32 points. His opponent, Jenny Sika, collected 66% of the vote to his 34%. When reached by The Salt Lake Tribune, Nemelka brushed off the results and said he wasn’t invested in the race, saying he didn’t campaign or put up yard signs. “If they want someone else, that’s fine,” he said. “I’m not going to worry about it.” For the past year, Nemelka, an 80-year-old retired special education teacher and former Marine, had pushed back against the growing division and animosity among the members of the Salt Lake City school board. Then he found himself at the center of it.

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Boner Candidate #3: IT’S A LOVELY NEIGHBORHOOD AND THERE’S A SHOOTING RANGING CONVENIENTLY NEARBY

SALT LAKE CITY — The Utah Division of Wildlife Resources announced Wednesday that part of the Santaquin Wildlife Management Area (WMA) will be permanently closed to recreational shooting of firearms, due to safety concerns about shooters hitting nearby homes. The DWR received reports of stray bullets hitting homes in a new subdivision on the south end of Santaquin City in April 2020. The bullets were believed to come from target shooting that was taking place on the nearby Santaquin WMA. After receiving the report, DWR personnel met with Santaquin City representatives, Utah County officials and law enforcement on May 4 regarding the incident. Warning signs were posted in the gravel pit area in South Santaquin, informing the public of nearby homes and directing target shooters to shoot in a different, safe direction.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: ERIC, THOSE ARE SAMPLE BALLOTS

Eric Trump was busted on Wednesday for tweeting a fake viral video of what he claimed was someone burning dozens of ballots cast in favor of his father, President Donald Trump. The president’s son ― as the 2020 election was still yet to be decided ― retweeted a video that purported to show a man torching 80 ballots for Trump in Virginia Beach, Virginia. The City of Virginia Beach, however, debunked Eric Trump’s post. “Those were sample ballots,” the city responded to Trump on Twitter. In a statement on its website, city officials said: “A concerned citizen shared a video with us that ostensibly shows someone burning ballots. They are NOT official ballots, they are sample ballots.” Officials noted “the absence of the bar code markings that are on all official ballots” in a screenshot from said video. “The ballots in the video were sample ballots. Fire investigators are looking into the illegal burning,” they added. The account that originally posted the clip has now been suspended. Eric Trump, who late Wednesday falsely claimed that his father had already won Pennsylvania, has not deleted his own tweet.

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Boner Candidate #2: NO CHARLIE BROWN… THAT’S A BONER.

For the first time in almost six decades, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving will not air on broadcast TV. All of the Charlie Brown holiday specials were purchased by Apple TV+. They will air on the streaming service, but luckily the specials will air for free on certain dates. Be sure to download Apple TV+. Even if you are not a subscriber, you can watch A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving from November 25 to 27. You can then watch A Charlie Brown Christmas from December 11 to 13. Some noted that elderly viewers may not be able to get streaming services. Others said that it was a tradition to watch these specials on broadcast TV every year.

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Boner Candidate #3: MOVE MY SIGNS AND I’LL RUN YOU OVER

Cottonwood Heights police arrested a man Wednesday for allegedly driving his car toward a code enforcement officer because the officer moved campaign signs. The suspect was driving on Brighton Way when he saw a code enforcement officer taking down political signs on public property, according to a probable cause statement. The suspect allegedly drove another 200 feet before pulling over, turning around and driving back at a faster speed. The suspect allegedly drove toward the code enforcement officer, while honking his horn, as the officer was crossing the road. The officer jumped out of the way and the car missed him by a foot, according to the statement. Witnesses took down the license plate number of the car and the suspect confirmed he was the driver in the incident after being arrested, according to the statement. Lt. Dan Bartlett said the officer is unharmed except for getting some “bumps” diving out of the way of the car. The Salt Lake Tribune generally doesn’t identify people accused of crime who haven’t been charged.

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