Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for October 16th, 2019

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: A PSYCHIATRIC EXAM WAS RECOMMENDED.

It is not known why he put the tweezers into his urethra or why he didn’t get them taken out for four years (Picture: Urology Case Reports). Doctors have taken part in a delicate operation to remove a foreign object from inside a man’s penis. The patient, 22, who has not been named, claimed he did not suffer any pain since he inserted a pair of tweezers into his urethra four years earlier. Doctors applied pressure on either side of the penis to keep the 2.7-inch tweezers closed while squeezing them out from the base of the shaft. If they removed them while they were still open the sharp ends could have damaged the urethra. It is now known why he inserted the tweezers into his manhood, but some men enjoy putting items in their penis while masturbating. The practice is known as sounding. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: HEY ORGY MAYOR IS OUR GUY.

Gyog, Hungary – Days before Sunday’s local elections in Hungary, a video emerged showing the mayor of Gyor in a drug-fueled orgy on a boat. It quickly went viral—but ultimately, Zsolt Borkai was reelected anyway. Borkai, a former gymnast who won a gold medal in pommel horse at the 1988 Olympic Games in Seoul before turning to politics, is allegedly seen on the video having sex with a young woman; according to the Mirror, prostitutes and other men were also involved in the cocaine-fueled orgy during a luxury yacht cruise around the Adriatic Sea. Borkai, 54, is a married father of two who has been mayor since 2006. Though he’s had to cancel public appearances, Borkai has so far refused to resign over the video, at first calling it “lies” published as part of an “opposition campaign” before ultimately admitting he’d taken part in the orgy. Borkai, a right-wing populist, is considered a key ally of Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban, and Bloomberg reports Orban—who aligns himself with Christian values and has slammed relaxed morals in Western society—is likely to be quite displeased. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: THIS WILL BE FUNNY!

ALPINE, Calif. – A social media post that apparently shows a Southern California daycare worker pouring water on a sleeping toddler has prompted an investigation.
The incident happened at the Alpine Children’s Academy in east San Diego County, sheriff’s officials said. An employee allegedly posted footage of herself pouring water on the 18-month-old’s face on Snapchat with the caption “good morning.” The video shows the startled child cringing and jerking awake. “It’s horrible, it’s absolutely disturbing. I actually think we’re all in shock about it,” one mother said. “It’s really sad and how dare they, how dare they do that to a baby.” “Someone has to be an advocate for these little guys,” another mom noted. “That little girl can’t talk and can’t go home and tell her mom.” The day care’s owner, Hunan Arshakian, said that the baby wasn’t injured, adding that he didn’t know why the employee would do such a thing. Read More

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: THIS IS NOT FUNNY, SIR. THIS IS OFFENSIVE.

NORTH FULTON COUNTY, Ga. – One man’s Halloween decoration is stirring up controversy in a local neighborhood – and it’s not because it’s scary. The display features a scarecrow/pumpkin man with its pants partially pulled down, “mooning” people as they pass by the man’s North Fulton County house. “We get a lot of chuckles out of it,” said homeowner Mike O’Neill. But over the weekend, O’Neill decided to cover a certain part of that display with this sign, after the HOA asked him to take the display down. “So we said we’ll make it less offensive. And that’s when we put the sign up saying it’s been censored,” O’Neill said. O’Neill said he’s put up the same display outside his home in the Grogan’s Bluff neighborhood off and on for the past decade. “Great feedback. People laughed. Lots of picture taking. People stopped their cars,” O’Neill said. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: PORK SMUGGLER.

Sydney, Australia — A 45-year-old Vietnamese woman has been expelled from Sydney Airport after biosecurity officers discovered a stash of undeclared pork and food items in her luggage. This is the first overseas traveller to be deported under strict new quarantine laws intended to keep African swine fever (ASF) out of the country.
The woman was carrying 4.6 kilograms of pork and 470 grams of eggs, along with kilograms of quail, pate, fruit, garlic and squid. Agriculture Minister Bridget McKenzie said the woman was stopped at the airport for a routine inspection on arrival. An amendment made in April to the Migration Act allows authorities to shorten or cancel visitor visas on the grounds of biosecurity contraventions and the importation of objectionable goods. In a recent statement Ms McKenzie said that the threat of ASF was a major factor in the tightening of these laws. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: YEP. WE GOT A BASEMENT FULL OF ANIMAL BLOOD.

BAGLEY, Iowa – What sounds like a horror film scene is a disgusting reality for the Lestina family – their basement filled with nearly five inches of animal blood, fat and bones as a result of drainage from a meat locker next door. The Lestina family has lived in their home next to the Dahl’s Custom Meat Locker for ten years but have never had major issues until recently. Nick Lestina said the ownership of the plant changed within the last year. “They haven’t reached out at all. In fact, they haven’t taken any accountability for it,” Lestina told WHOtv. “They say it’s not their fault and told me ‘good luck.’ If I want to do anything about it, it’s on my dime and my schedule.”
WHO reached out to Dahl’s Custom Meat Locker for comment, but it appeared to be closed on Monday. Lestina said he has been in touch with the Iowa Department of Natural Resources, which is handling the investigation and has been in touch with the meat locker. Read More


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