ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: A VIOLENT CHICKEN ENTHUSIAST
A woman in Florida punched a teenage employee in the face at a KFC because she was “unhappy with the service at the KFC drive-through window.”
Boner Candidate #2: I WENT OUT TO THE CAR FOR A SANDWICH AND MISSED THE WHOLE DAMNED THING.
Boston Medical Center’s head of spine surgery Dr. Tony Tannoury, admitted to missing a surgery because he fell asleep in his car.
Boner Candidate #3: THE NATIVES LOVE THE CHOP.
Commissioner of Major League Baseball, Rob Manfred, has been negligent to addressing the racism against the Native American population who many of the teams openly mock. Manfred claimed that Native Americans are “wholly supportive of the Braves program, including the chop,” despite many Native Americans actively protesting against Manfred and The Altana Braves.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: IF THERE WAS ANY DANGEROUS DRIVING, IT WAS THE KID’S FAULT.
A man who was pulled over for a DUI claimed his 4 year old son was to blame for driving.
Boner Candidate #2: IT’S LIKE HANDWASHING FOR YOUR NOSE.
Utah company and national disgrace, Xlear, made false claims that their nasal spray was capable of preventing Covid-19.
Boner Candidate #3: YEAH. CALL IT THE ‘ARM BARN.’ THAT WOULDN’T BE STUPID AT ALL.
Peta is pushing a movement to have the “Bullpen” renamed to “Arm Barn” because the term Bullpen is insensitive to cows.
