Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for September 19th, 2019

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: TRYING TO KAVANAUGH ME

Cory Green, who last week announced his candidacy for Utah’s 1st Congressional District, was charged with four felonies in 2010, court records show. Two of the charges, for alleged forcible sexual abuse, were dismissed, while Green pleaded guilty to the remaining two charges after they were amended down to class A misdemeanors for sexual battery. Court records also show that Green pleaded no contest in June of this year to two class B misdemeanor charges of attempted unlawful conduct related to allegedly working in private security without a license. But Green maintained his innocence on both fronts during a Tuesday interview with The Salt Lake Tribune, and said he was effectively coerced into making a guilty plea after being victimized and extorted by a young woman who posed as a massage therapist, and said he has been the target of politically motivated abuses by law enforcement in the ensuing years. “I ended up taking the plea deal because that was the best option I was given, being backed into a corner by the prosecutor in Davis County,” Green said. Administrative records from the Utah Division of Occupational and Professional Licensing, or DOPL, show that Green was issued a license to work as an armed security officer in 2001, and a license to operate a private security company, Statewide Patrol Agency, in 2009. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: I’M A VERY CLEAN WHITE GIRL

BLUFFTON, NC – The intoxicated ex-cheerleader who tried to talk her way out of an arrest by assuring South Carolina cops that she was a “very clean, thoroughbred, white girl” has pleaded guilty to a drunk driving charge, records show. Lauren Cutshaw, 34, recently copped to a misdemeanor DUI count in connection with her arrest last August in Bluffton, a town just west of Hilton Head. Cutshaw, a licensed real estate agent, pleaded guilty to the drunk driving charge during an August 27 appearance in Bluffton Municipal Court. As part of a plea deal, prosecutors dropped several other charges filed against Cutshaw, including speeding, possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, and DUI with a blood alcohol content of .16 or higher (a breath test recorded Cutshaw’s BAC at .18, more than twice the legal limit). Cutshaw was ordered to pay $187 in fines and court costs. She must also complete the state’s Alcohol and Drug Safety Action Program. As detailed in a Bluffton Police Department report, Cutshaw offered police a litany of reasons why she should be spared arrest after being pulled over at 1:45 AM for speeding and driving through a stop sign at 60 mph. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: HITCHIN A RIDE

BOWLING GREEN, KY. -The Bowling Green Police Department is investigating an incident in which a woman from Bowling Green found another woman in her trunk when she stopped for gas in Millersville, Tenn. on Tuesday. Tennessee law enforcement officers talked to the woman who had been in the trunk of the car and she is unharmed, BGPD spokesman Officer Ronnie Ward said.
“We have processed the car, and our detectives are attempting to learn why the female was in the car,” Ward said. No one has been charged with any crime. No other information was released. The two women did not know each other. Read More

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: THE STATE PAID US TO DO THIS.

Two men arrested for breaking into the Dallas County Courthouse said they were hired to do it by the state.  The state court administration said they did hire this company to test the security of their electronic records but did not intend for them to physically break into the courthouse.  Justin Wynn and Gary Demercurio were charged with third-degree burglary and position of burglary tools. Demercurio’s criminal complaint said he told law enforcement he was hired to break in and test their response time.  While not all the details are clear, the Iowa Judicial branch did hire a company called Coalfire to test their security. The State Court Administration put out a statement that in part says, “The company was asked to attempt unauthorized access to court records through various means to learn of any potential vulnerabilities. SCA did not intend, or anticipate, those efforts to include forced entry into a building.” Coalfire is a cybersecurity firm. They said they cannot comment on this specific case because of legal matters but added in their statement: “Our employees work diligently to ensure our engagements are conducted with utmost integrity and in alignment with the objectives of our client.” Read More

Boner Candidate #2: CAP….NO!

CLARKSDALE, Miss. – The Smoking Gun introduces us to 36-year-old David Hobbs, who cops say was busted early Monday as he tried to break into a backyard shed in Clarksdale, Miss. But it’s not the alleged burglary he’s being charged with that’s elevating his headline in news feeds: It’s the fact that, after he tripped an alarm, he was caught by the homeowner wearing a Captain America outfit, police say. TSG cites “some unknown reason” for his get-up. The homeowner, a former Marine and corrections officer, tells WREG he held the oddly attired interloper down until cops arrived. He says the suspect also had fairy wings on when he was placed under arrest. In fact, other locals tell the station that Hobbs is regularly seen in alleyways and has tried to get into other sheds before, though in those instances he was always dressed as a mere mortal. “Normally, I see him, [he’s] straggly looking with jeans and a T-shirt or something like that,” one woman says. The Mississippi Department of Corrections notes Hobbs is serving a three-year probation term for a grand larceny charge. Hobbs is now in Coahoma County Jail on a $25,000 bond. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: HEY, WE’RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE A BUCK.

American fashion brand Bstroy has received fierce criticism on social media after displaying school shooting-themed hoodies at a show during New York Fashion Week. The brand’s spring/summer 2020 collection, designed by Brick Owens and Duey Catorze, featured distressed hoodies reading “Stoneman Douglas,” “Sandy Hook,” “Virginia Tech” and “Columbine,” the sites of four of the deadliest school shootings in the US. Photos from the show posted on the brand’s Instagram account, as well as Owens’ account, quickly drew outrage, with some commenters identifying themselves as survivors or relatives of victims. On a photo of the Stoneman Douglas hoodie, one person commented, “My dead classmates dying should not be a f***ing fashion statement.” Another commented on a photo of the Columbine design: “As a victim of Columbine, I am appalled. This is disgusting. You can draw awareness another way but don’t you dare make money off of our tragedy.” On Twitter, a spokesperson for the Vicky Soto Memorial Fund, established after teacher Victoria Soto was killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School, posted, “This is just absolutely horrific. A company is make light of our pain and other’s pain for fashion. Selling sweatshirts with our name and bullet holes. Unbelievable.” Read More


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