Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for September 22nd, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: LET’S ASK THE DRED HEAD COWBOY HOW THIS HELPS THE CHILDREN

A man in Chicago known as the “Dreadhead Cowboy” was arrested Monday after riding a horse on the Dan Ryan Expressway, a report said. The horseman, whose real name is Adam Hollingsworth, 33, was captured on video surrounded by motorcycles and with police trailing behind. He was charged with reckless conduct, disobeying a police officer, criminal trespass to state-supported property, police said. He was escorted by a phalanx of motorcyclists as he rode his horse on the southbound lanes of the expressway, sometimes at a gallop, for several miles. On a Facebook Live feed while he was riding, Hollingsworth said he wanted everyone to know kids lives matter. “Until we understand kids lives matter, nothing else matters,” he said on Facebook Live before riding onto the freeway. “We’re fitting to shut down the whole Dan Ryan.” In the past, Hollingsworth teamed up with Mayor Lori Lightfoot to advocate for filling out the Census, but her office distanced itself from the “stunt” in a statement. “There is a right way and a wrong way to call attention to issues of great importance and this stunt was decidedly the very wrong way,” the statement said, according to the Chicago Sun-Times.

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Boner Candidate #2: YOU’RE TELLING ME THOSE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FISH?

MOROCCO — Controversial statues have been demolished after causing “embarrassment” due to their resemblance to a penis. The fish statues which were erected in Morocco have been taken down after going viral on social media, reports Morocco World News. Photos of the sculptures were shared online and many criticized the art work deeming it “embarrassing” and questioning why it was ever built. The images, which show the two phallic fish went viral after being labelled “pornographic.” Citizens began slamming the local government online, with one tweeting: “People in Kenitra and Mehdia told local authorities they want reforms in the city. And authorities bring them these statues.” Others questioned the amount of money spent on building the statues which could have been spent elsewhere. The sculptures were located in a Mehdia roundabout near a popular beach which neighbors Kenitra. Social media users blasted Kenitra authorities for the blunder – however city authorities were quick to disassociate themselves with the art work.

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Boner Candidate #3: HER DYING WORDS WERE PATHETIC

Fox News host Tucker Carlson ripped the purported dying wish of late Supreme Court Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who asked that her seat be filled by the winner of November’s presidential election. On Monday night, Carlson said he didn’t believe it, but “if it were true, it would be pathetic because life is bigger than politics, even this year.” Days before her death on Friday at the age of 87, Ginsburg dictated a statement to her granddaughter, Clara Spera. “My most fervent wish is that I will not be replaced until a new president is installed,” Ginsburg said, per NPR.
But Carlson said he didn’t believe it. “We don’t really know, actually, what Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s final words were,” Carlson said. “Did she really leave this world fretting about a presidential election? We don’t believe that for a second.” Carlson called those words “so small” and said Ginsburg didn’t say them but rather “was thinking at the end about her family and where she might be going next.”

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: COME ON….FIGHT BACK!

A group of Southern California Native Americans opted not to strike back as they were being pummeled by a woman who didn’t like their protest against Trump’s border wall. This was posted by a group called Defend Kumeyaay Land — natives who originated in San Diego County — and while members of their tribe were out by the border Friday protesting the ongoing construction of more barriers, they were confronted by a very handsy, violent lady. The woman comes off as the aggressor, charging the group and telling them to scram — while also hurling xenophobic remarks and telling the group this is her land, not theirs. They tell her she’s being recorded, and that angers her even more … at which point she starts swinging on them, pushing them and locking arms with them as they try fending off her blows and peacefully restraining her. What they say they won’t do … hit back, not at all. You have to watch this for yourself, because it is incredibly powerful — the Kumeyaay natives repeat over and over that they’re non-violent and that they will NOT reciprocate her attack. Eventually, the woman seems to get worn down and almost bitter at the fact they’re not matching her energy … so they one-up her with kindness once more, forming a prayer circle around her and carrying on in a chant. The woman seems dumbfounded, and then mocks them.

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Boner Candidate #2: HEY MATE! DIDN’T YOU GO TO DERBYSHIRE HIGH?

The Derby, U.K., police posted a photo of the unnamed driver’s car with the message, “That awkward moment when you try to give false details but an officer recognizes you from school 20 years ago.” The unnamed driver was accused of being under the influence and operating a vehicle without a license or insurance. His modified Vauxhall Astra was also equipped with an illegal exhaust pipe and window tinting. One person commented on the post, “That school reunion is going to be a blast then….” to which the police responded: “As long as he doesn’t drive there” with a thumbs-up emoji. According to the Derbyshire Roads Policing Unit, the car was impounded and the matter is in the hands of the court.

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Boner Candidate #3: GET OUT OF MY AREA

Garfield County, UT — Authorities arrested a man in Utah for allegedly threatening guests at an Airbnb rental property located near his home. The disgruntled neighbor has been accused of chasing away some of the guests with a shotgun when they mistakenly pulled into his driveway. Michael Rudolph, a Garfield county resident, has had issues with several of his neighbor’s Airbnb guests, St. George News reported. Rudolph reportedly admitted to police that when guests trespassed on his property he would meet them with the gun. A Garfield County Deputy told the local news outlet that the issue with Rudolph had been going on “for a while.” Authorities were alerted to Rudolph’s behavior on Sept. 13 and followed up to question him about the incidents. Rudolph later called his neighbor to complain about the police arriving at his home, and once again threatened to meet any guests with a shotgun, according to the St. George News.

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