Boners

Boner of the Day for September 27th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: HIS BELLY BUTTON…IT’S THE PHANATICS MOUTH.

A mega Eagles fan, who embodies everything Philadelphia, made the trip to Lambeau Field to see the Packers take on the Birds. Action News caught up with Philadelphia resident Robert Dunphy who says he drove to Green Bay, Wisconsin overnight to see the big game. “I wanted to see Lambeau which is a historic landmark. Now we’re watching the Eagles beat up on the Packers,” said Dunphy. But it was Dunphy’s tattoos that might get the win for the evening. He literally carries Philadelphia everywhere he goes. An Interstate 95 can be seen over his chest, and above that, the Philadelphia Eagle. And you can’t miss the Liberty Bell, the Philadelphia skyline or the massive Phillie Phanatic on his stomach. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: DEE SNIDER HAS HIS FINGER ON THE PULSE OF AMERICA.

Dee Snider has slammed the National Football League for hiring Jennifer Lopez and Shakira to perform at Super Bowl LIV. On Thursday, the pop singers confirmed they are the headlining acts for the halftime show on February 2, 2020 at the Hard Rock Stadium in Miami, Florida. After news of the NFL’s choice of entertainment for next year’s event started to make the rounds, the outspoken TWISTED SISTER frontman took to his Twitter to voice his displeasure. He wrote: “WTF!? @shakira and @jlo for this year’s @nfl halftime show!? Once again the great heavy music that rocks the stadiums week after week, game after game is completely ignored. I guess we don’t shake our ass enough!!” This is not the first time Snider has taken a shot at the NFL for failing to secure rock acts for the Super Bowl halftime show. Back in February, Snider observed that the playlists at NFL stadiums everywhere for decades have played music by a number of hard rock and heavy metal acts, yet no metal band has ever performed at the halftime show. He proceeded to list songs by METALLICA, OZZY OSBOURNE, GUNS N’ ROSES, TWISTED SISTER and QUEEN as some of the ones that are often blasted over the PA at NFL games. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: I WAS DRUNK.

The white Hollywood costume designer who launched into a racist tirade at a California CVS claims that she was ‘intoxicated’ when she shouted about how she wanted to ‘kill n*****s.’  Heather Patton, 49, updated her Instagram bio to ask that she not be contacted and offered an apology for her racist actions. She also revealed she had been fired. ‘I was intoxicated and I sincerely apologize to everyone whom I disrespected and let down by my actions,’ the Los Angeles resident said. ‘Please forgive me.’ Patton’s bio update comes a day after she was criticized for shocking video that showed her launching into the racist rant at the Eagle Rock CVS on September 24. Read More
[polldaddy poll=10418814]

 Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: THE ONLY THING HE TRIED TO BREECH WAS THE BATHROOM.

An Alaska Airlines flight was forced to land at Kansas City International Airport after an unruly passenger threatened the safety of the aircraft by allegedly trying to enter the cockpit and making a ‘verbal threat to do harm to the plane’. The incident took place on Thursday afternoon and a video clip appears to show the man who created the diversion to the Midwest and ended up being taken into the custody of law enforcement officers. The flight was bound from New York to Los Angeles with 177 passengers and six crew members aboard all of whom were inconvenienced after the man was told he could not use the bathroom in the First Class section of the aircraft. The airline said the ‘combative, unruly passenger’ threatened crew members and the aircraft’s safety.
The passenger has not been named. Read More 

Boner Candidate #2: OKAY. NO MORE CANNONS AT COLLEGE FOOTBALL.

An official was shot by a cannon while working Maine Maritime Academy’s homecoming football game Saturday against Massachusetts Maritime Academy. Yep, a cannon. In the head. During the game. He’s on the right side of the frame in the video: The cannon wasn’t loaded with a cannonball, so it was only an injury and not a decapitation. A Maine Maritime alumnus brought his own cannon to the game in order to keep up the tradition of firing off a blast for every touchdown. As college football traditions go, this one’s pretty widespread. However, cannons are usually loaded with blank shells. This one was loaded with black powder and “a substance that he had made into a wad,” per the Bangor Daily News. That’s what hit the ref in the head. The referee was taken to a local hospital with non-life threatening injuries. The Hancock County Sheriff’s Office will investigate the matter, and the school said in a statement that it would no longer allow random alumni to bring cannons to home football games, which seems reasonable. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: YOU JUST WAIT. YOU’LL SEE. I’LL BE THE HERO.

Rudy Giuliani has no plans to fade into nonexistence anytime soon, announcing to a ‘big crew’ at a Manhattan cigar club that he has plans to launch a new podcast.
The former mayor turned President Trump’s personal lawyer was enjoying some time at the Grand Havana Room at 666 Fifth Avenue  on Thursday when he made the boisterous declaration.
Sources familiar with the moment told Page Six that Giuliani appeared to be ‘holding court with a big crew. Huge smile on his face, laughing. You could literally see CNN and Fox News on the TVs behind him as everything was unfolding.’ Read More 
[polldaddy poll=10418815][polldaddy poll=10418815]
To Top