Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for September 30th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: HEY, WANNA DRESS UP AS A NURSE FOR ME?

A detective in North Carolina has been fired after it emerged he sent inappropriate messages to women whose rape cases he had worked, including asking a victim to dress as a nurse for him.
Paul G. Matrafailo III, 33, of the Fayetteville Police Department was removed from his role in May after almost 10 years working the job, following claims from three women about messages ‘perceived as inappropriate’. According to WRAL.com, one of the victims even received offensive messages after the cop was dismissed. Victim Erin Scanlon told The Fayetteville Observer: ‘He didn’t contact me on Instagram until nine months after (the) case was over. Obviously he was still following me on social media. I have no idea how he found me on social media.’ Paul G. Matrafailo III (pictured in 2017), 33, of the Fayetteville Police Department was removed from his role in May. Victim Erin Scanlon (pictured) revealed Instagram messages showing comments on her Amazon wish list which contained lingerie items. She said it was ‘shocking and inappropriate’ that he would message her after working her 2016 rape case and use the tongue and wink emojis. Messages published by TooFab show he sent tongue and wink emojis alongside messages asking her about an Amazon wish list linked to her account that contained lingerie. ‘Jw (just wondering) why you have a wish list up :p,’ the March 5 messages read. ‘Some interesting things on there ha ;).’ ‘It was shocking and inappropriate,’ Scanlon continued to the Observer. ‘It was honestly a little bit unbelievable that he would think of me that way or think it’s OK to talk to me like that. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: DIRT BAG ON THE DIRT QUAD

Aaron Carter might finally be gun-free, but he never said anything about giving up tattoos … his face now being exhibit A of exactly that. The singer debuted a new tat over the weekend, which is plastered right on the side of his mug … taking up a massive section, which almost runs up to his forehead. The tattoo depicts what looks a lot like Medusa — the Greek monster with snakes for hair. He also has the word “Love” scribbled across the top of his cheek — very Post Malone-like, right? It’s unclear who commissioned the new ink, but Aaron documented a good portion of the process on his social media … and seemed to be in good spirits about it. AC looked even happier riding around in the dirt on a quad sometime after the body artwork was done, captioning a video of himself with … “Living my best life sweetie.” The obvious question that comes to mind … you good, bro? Remember, Aaron just gave up his firearms this past week — with proof, to boot — and told us he’d be getting some treatment to kick Xanax. Now, he’s drastically changed his appearance days later. It’s possible everything’s fine and Aaron’s just expressing himself creatively — he was already blasted with tats before this. Then again … a sudden face tat is usually startling. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: FARTING PASSENGERS? WELL, THEN…YOU’RE FREE TO GO.

A DRIVER stopped by police for speeding had a ripper of an excuse — as he blamed his passengers for blowing off. He claimed he was trying to reach his destination as fast as possible to escape the stench — but there was no let-off from cops. The driver said he was speeding because the passengers were farting. It was one of a string of bizarre excuses motorists gave to Dorset Police’s road traffic officers. One said: “We couldn’t help but smile at his cheek. Presumably if it was true, he was hoping that by going faster it would blow the aroma out of his car. “But it would have been safer to switch on the air-con or open a window.” One speeding driver said he was desperate to see the Labour leader, insisting: “I’m rushing to Bournemouth because Jeremy Corbyn is there.” Another seemed to think speed limits only applied in the week, claiming: “I always put my foot down at the weekend.” One even admitted: “I’m on my way to an eyesight test, I didn’t see the speed limit sign.” Dorset’s No Excuse team were also told by a speeder: “I didn’t want my dog to pee in the car.” Read More

Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: I BET YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR DAD.

A school resource officer at an Alabama middle school is accused of asking a group of students which of their dads he hadn’t arrested yet, then quipping that one girl didn’t even know her dad.
Carmen Guinn says her 11-year-old granddaughter came home crying and asking questions about her dad, who is ‘very much in her life.’ City police and the school system are investigating Guinn’s complaint. Guinn says the most recent incident occurred when the officer approached the sixth grader at the lunch table and asked, ‘Which one of y’all’s daddies have I not arrested yet?’
The girl replied, ‘You haven’t arrested mine.” The officer allegedly responded, ‘That’s because you don’t know who your daddy is.’ ‘Everybody laughed,’ Guinn told al.com. ‘When she came home, she cried and she questioned me about her dad. Her dad is very much in her life. How can someone be so cruel to talk that way to a child?’ The officer continued, according to Guinn: ‘I’ve arrested most everybody in your family.’ ‘She’s never been in jail and neither have I,’ Guinn replied. However, when the officer was a no-show Wednesday at the school, Guinn said, other students began teasing her granddaughter by asking where her ‘daddy’ was. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: THIS IS THE SWAMP

WASHINGTON — For years, the Interior Department resisted proposals to raise the height of its towering Shasta Dam in Northern California. The department’s own scientists and researchers concluded that doing so would endanger rare plants and animals in the area, as well as the bald eagle, and devastate the West Coast’s salmon industry downstream. But the project is going forward now, in a big win for a powerful consortium of California farmers that stands to profit substantially by gaining access to more irrigation water from a higher dam and has been trying to get the project approved for more than a decade. For much of the past decade, the chief lobbyist for the group was David Bernhardt. Today, Mr. Bernhardt is the Interior Secretary. It is not the first time that the Interior Department under Mr. Bernhardt’s leadership has taken actions that benefit his former client, the Westlands Water District, a state entity created at the behest of, and largely controlled by, some of California’s wealthiest farmers. Mr. Bernhardt also promoted the weakening of an endangered-species regulation that would get Westlands more water, a move that has put him under scrutiny from his department’s inspector general. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: MY BEAN DIP GIVES YOU EXTRA ENERGY, AND THEN YOUR TEETH FALL OUT.

An Oregon woman is under arrest after police say she shared bean dip with an extra ingredient: methamphetamine. Cassandra Medina-Hernandez gave some of the meth-laced dip to a fellow employee in the deli of the grocery store where she worked, according to a news release from the Marion County Sheriff’s office. The co-worker began feeling ill, went to the hospital, and was told the dip might have been contaminated with meth, deputies said. A least one other employee might have eaten some of the dip, deputies said, but they don’t think any customers did. Medina-Hernandez was charged with unlawful delivery of methamphetamine, recklessly endangering another person, and causing another person to ingest a controlled substance. CNN has not been able to reach Medina-Hernandez or her attorney. Read More


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