Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day (Round One and Two) for January 18th, 2019

Round One 

Boner Candidate #1:I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT COUNTERFEIT MONEY IS.

A 12-year-old honor student was suspended for 10 days after he unintentionally used counterfeit money to pay for his lunch at a Henry County middle school, according to Channel 2 Action News. Now the parents of Christian Philon are trying to clear their son’s name. The news station reported Christian handed a cashier at McDonough’s Austin Road Middle School a $20 bill last Thursday. His father had given him the money from change he received at a fast-food restaurant. “I’ve never handled counterfeit money,” Earvin Philon told Channel 2. “I don’t know what it looks like. … There was no way when I gave it to my son that he knew it was counterfeit.” Christian, a straight-A student and athlete, said he learned the money was fake when the cashier marked the bill with a counterfeit pen. “I was confused on how the money was counterfeit and how my parents received it,” he said.

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Boner Candidate #2:THAT’S NOT JUST A POLICE CADET. THAT’S MY WIFE.

A cop called in to break up a brawl at a sex party nearly fainted when he saw his wife was one of the two women involved. A trio of aspiring police officers in northeastern Mexico were holed up inside a local hotel room when the rendezvous turned into a fistfight. One of the woman attacked the other, claiming the man had spent more time being intimate with her.  The responding police officer was able to keep his composure despite noticing his wife was one of the women involved in the tryst.  Police officers responded to a 911 call at a hotel in northeastern Mexico late Monday night, and arrested two women and a man who got into a fight during the middle of a sex party. A male cadet (left) aspiring to join the Tamaulipas state police department is restrained. He then rushed his spouse out of the hotel, El Sol de Mexico reported. The cadets, none of whom have been named but have been pictured, were looking to join the Tamaulipas state police department.

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Boner Candidate #3:OH YOU ARE A SEXY PITBULL

All those women on Twitter constantly lusting after “sexy” “real man” Michael Cohen, as it turns out, do not exist. President Donald Trump’s former personal attorney used his boss’s money to pay someone to run an account called “Women for Cohen” that fawned over the lawyer’s looks and abilities as a litigator. The account frequently used hashtags like #sexy, #handsome, and #pitbull to create the illusion that Cohen had a large female fanbase.  One tweet, for example, quoted Cohen when he compared his looks to a young Andy Garcia and said that Cohen was “even more sexy.”
Here are some other examples: Cohen paid $25,000 and gave a boxing glove to a man named John Gauger to “rig” polls in Trump’s favor, which led to the creation of the Women for Cohen account at Cohen’s request, according to a new report from the Wall Street Journal. Gauger runs a small IT company called RedFinch and was supposed to get $50,000, though he said he never did. Cohen, however, got a full $50,000 reimbursement from Trump, according to the Journal.

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Boner Candidate #1:IT’S A TOY THAT TEACHES A USEFUL SKILL

A kids’ game that asked children to defuse a plastic, pretend bomb had parents exploding with anger — and now two major retailers are pulling the controversial toy. The game, called “Cut the Wire,” asks players to defuse a fake bomb before the timer runs out. Should a player cut the wrong wire with the toy wire cutter included in the game, the bomb sounds an alarm and lights up and vibrates to recreate an explosion simulation. The toy bomb is shaped like sticks of dynamite and the packaging is covered in flames to signify an explosion that has already taken place.
“Cut the Wire” is recommended for children ages 6 and up. A Walmart spokeswoman told the New York Times that the retailer had stopped selling the game and had no plans to reorder it, adding that the company appreciated “the concerns that have been raised regarding this item.” A Target spokeswoman told the Times that it had removed “Cut the Wire” from its shelves last fall.
The game is still available on Amazon, which declined to comment to The Post on the game itself, however a spokeswoman mentioned that “these products are sold by third party sellers.”

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Boner Candidate #2:BE MEIN? YES OR NEIN?

An official from Minnetonka Public Schools says the district is aware of a controversial post on Instagram in which a Minnetonka student and her date give what appear to be Nazi salutes. The sign reads “Sweethearts would be a Hit(ler) with you, and I could Nazi myself going with anyone else. Be Mein? Yes, Nein.” Underneath, the caption includes the text, “Also I would like to state I am not anti-Semitic in any way, I hate all races equally.” Minnetonka High School Principal Jeff Erickson stated in a message to parents and students on Thursday, Jan. 17, that the anti-Semitic post in “no way aligns with our school core values: Do the right thing, and represent us well.” His message to parents and students continues on to say: “The students involved have since removed the message; I will not go into the specific details of what it said. As with any student disciplinary matter, we are governed by data privacy laws and will not be sharing details about the students or the consequences they will face for their actions. Please know that we take this matter seriously and are committed to ensuring a safe, positive environment for all students.

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Boner Candidate #3: I CAN’T AFFORD TO GO TO A SHRINK

Apparently this guy thought stealing dogs would be therapeutic. A Florida man was arrested Wednesday for stealing a pair of Jack Russell Terriers for a “therapy reason” according to a police report unearthed by the Smoking Gun. Parker Capparelli, 28, was charged with grand theft by cops in Trilby Florida who also busted him last month for trying to cash $20,000 in stolen checks, according to the report. Police said Capparelli claimed the dogs willingly followed him off their 73-year-old owner’s property after he let them out of their pen and that “one of them looked like a dog he used to own.” The alleged dog-napper lives 8-miles away from where he encountered the pups. Capparelli was in possession of the dogs when police came to question him. The perp reportedly told “an Involved other” that he wanted the dogs for therapy purposes.

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