Boner of the Day

Boner (Rounds One and Two) for June 14th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: HEY, MY HEAD COULD FIT IN THAT.

That’s trucked up! A Minnesota woman had a memorable time at a music festivial this past weekend, but no one would blame her if she’d rather forget it. That’s a normal feeling when you get your head stuck in a truck’s exhaust pipe for 45 minutes. Kaitlyn Strom was at the Winstock Country Music Festival in the town of Winsted on Friday when she decided to go where few people have gone before. “We were just all having fun and I saw this big exhaust pipe and I was like, ‘Hey, my head could probably fit in that,’” she told the Hutchinson Leader. “So I tried it. It did fit, but it didn’t want to come back out.” Strom estimated she spent 45 minutes inside the pipe and said she was finally rescued when firefighters used a power saw, according to Minneapolis station WCCO TV. Although she was unharmed by her close encounter with the inside of a tailpipe, the McLeod County Sheriff’s Office cited her for underage drinking, according to The Associated Press.

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Boner Candidate #2: I WAS JUST TRYING TO ECONOMIZE.

TAHLEQUAH, Okla. — A Cherokee Nation hospital in Oklahoma is testing more than 180 patients for HIV and hepatitis after allegations that a nurse reused syringes to administer medications. The nurse violated protocols by using the same vial of medication and syringe to inject multiple intravenous bags at W.W. Hastings Hospital in Tahlequah, according to Cherokee officials. The nurse no longer works for the tribe, the Tulsa World reported. “We’re a big government, and we have to do our due diligence to make sure things are handled properly,” said Joe Byrd, speaker of the Cherokee Tribal Council. “You can be sure that I’ll have my pulse on the situation.” Researchers strongly recommend against reusing syringes with IV bags but say the risk of transmitting a disease by doing so is low, according to a 2010 study by the National Center for Biotechnology Information.

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Boner Candidate #3: I DON’T THINK HE LIKES ME.

A Texas man was arrested after he allegedly used his lawnmower to hurl rocks at three people, including a 9-year-old girl, and then told police he would do it all again if he had the chance. Johnny Manning was arrested after he allegedly used his riding lawnmower as a weapon to pelt his roommate, her ex-husband and her daughter with rocks outside his Santa Fe home on Saturday. The 72-year-old was charged with injury to a child with intentional bodily injury and criminal mischief, FOX26 reported. According to reports, the dispute began when Manning was attempting to kick his roommate, Angela Fontenot, out of his home. Fontenot’s ex-husband, Chris, was dropping Fontenot and their daughter off at Manning’s home at the time. Manning told the news station he had kicked Fontenot out of his house a few weeks ago — something she denied.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: WAY TO GO SALT LAKE! WE’RE A HOT SPOT.

Public health officials have long known that the United States has pockets of vulnerability where the risk of measles and other vaccine-preventable childhood diseases is higher because parents hesitate or refuse to get their children immunized. Eighteen states allow parents to opt their children out of school immunization requirements for nonmedical reasons, with exemptions for religious or philosophical beliefs. And in two-thirds of those states, a comprehensive new analysis finds a rising number of kindergartners who have not been vaccinated. In a report published Tuesday in PLOS Medicine, researchers from several Texas academic centers tracked the increasing number of children with exemptions in all 18 states from the 2009-2010 to 2016-2017 school years. They characterized many rural counties, as well as urban areas, as “hot spots” because their high exemption rate puts them at risk for epidemics of measles, whooping cough and other pediatric infectious diseases.

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Boner Candidate #2: WE’VE PLEDGED TO NOT DISCRIMINATE. WHAT DOES DISCRIMINATE MEAN?

America’s Freedom Festival in Provo will once again exclude from its July 4 parade the LGBT resource center for youths that it accepted last year, then ousted at the last minute, spurring controversy and headlines. “They did not allow us to be in the parade,” Stephenie Larsen, founder of Encircle, told The Salt Lake Tribune on Wednesday evening just minutes after being informed of the decision. “They said it was celebrating patriotism and our [proposed entry] was not celebrating patriotism,” Larsen said. “I’m surprised. I’m very surprised. We worked long and hard hoping that they would come around. Four other LGBT support groups — including two that filed a joint application — also were rejected by the nonprofit festival organization, said Kendall Wilcox, a member of Mormons Building Bridges, which had its application declined.

Boner Candidate #3: A LESSON THAT EVERY MOTHER SHOULD TEACH HER LITTLE GIRL.

SOMERSET, Ky. — A Kentucky woman accused of forcing her 14-year-old daughter to drink whiskey until she fell has had her probation revoked. The Lexington Herald-Leader reports the 35-year-old woman was sentenced last week to 20 years in prison. She had previously been placed on five years’ probation in lieu of serving prison time on several charges, including burglary. A judge ruled she violated the terms of probation, which included a ban on possessing or drinking alcohol. In March, Somerset police were tipped off to a video in which the woman was heard saying they could get “a thousand million dollars” for the recording of her daughter. She told police she was trying to teach the girl that drinking was bad. Her charges in that case haven’t been resolved.

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