Boner Candidate #1: STAYING OUT OF THE BIKE LANE IS A BAR TOO HIGH.
Waymo, the self driving car company, is telling cyclists that expecting “robotaxis” to stay out of bike lanes is simply “too high a bar.” Christopher White, the executive director of the San Francisco Bike Coalition, said that Waymo has told campaigners that it is “normal practice” for the vehicles to swerve into bike lanes. “They are really only as good and effective and safe as they are programmed to be. Waymos pull over into bike lanes all the time for pickups and drop-offs and that’s neither legal nor safe…but the companies say that is a normal practice and that’s what customers expect.”
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: INSISTING THAT WE PRONOUNCE HIS NAME ‘OZE’ IS THE FIRST CLUE THAT HE IS A TURD.
Oz Pearlman, the magician and mentalist, was meant to guest on Jimmy Kimmel’s show, but has suddenly backed out due to President Trump’s complaints about Kimmel. Last week, Kimmel gave a fake monologue as if he hosting the White House Correspondence Dinner that was scheduled for the following Saturday. He called Melania an “expectant widow.” Trump and Melania have both called for Jimmy Kimmel to be fired for this incident. Pearlman, who had attended the White House Correspondences Dinner and witnessed the attack, has now pulled out of the show in support of Trump.
Boner Candidate #3: I DUNNO. MAYBE HE SHOULD BE CANED.
Didler Maximilien, a teen studying in Singapore, uploaded a video of himself to Instagram where he took a straw from a vending machine straw dispenser, licked it, and returned it to the dispenser. As a result of his behavior, iJooz, the operator of the vending machine had to “replace all 500 straws in the dispenser.” The company announced. “In the light of this incident, we have initiated additional internal checks, inspections, straw replacements and machine sanitation protocols.” Maximilien is now facing charges of nuisance and mischief. The nuisance charge could see him jailed for three months; the more serious mischief charge carries a punishment of up to two years.
