Boner Candidate #1: TODD BLANCHE…LEGAL GENIOIUS
Major Garret, CBS’s chief Washington correspondent, was kicked off of an interview with Todd Blanche for asking him if Maga Influencer, Jack Prosobiec would be prosecuted for the same threat that got the former FBI director, James Comey, indicted. In 2025 Comey had posted a picture depicting seashells laid out on the beach to say “86 47”. 86 is commonly used in restaurants to mean discard or get rid of. In the case of Comey, it was interpreted by prosecutors as a threat against the 47th president, Donald Trump. Garret began by asking Blanche about a similar post by Posobiec that had said “86 46”. “The Biden Justice Department never prosecuted him. By the standard of that grand jury, Jack Posobiec should face charges as well. Will the Justice Department pursue that case, because they sound very similar?” Garret questioned. Blanche went on to argue that “That’s not how a grand jury does its work…every investigation is different. You know that.”
Boner Candidate #2: AW COME ON. IT WAS JUST A FUN PRANK.
Two Florida teens are facing charges for driving a lawnmower into a Target as a “harmless prank.” “It was not something you see every day,” said a witness. In seconds, a normal shopping trip turned into chaos. The last thing you expect to see inside a Target is a lawn mower coming through the door. And it was all captured on video. “He actually drove straight into the door first and shattered it, it was quite interesting,” commented a witness. Police say that Janek Szkaradek, the 18 year old boy riding the mower, had allegedly used a leaf blower inside of a Culver’s the night before. He was charged with criminal mischief, and both teens were arrested for disorderly conduct.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: I CAN’T THINK OF A PUNISHMENT HARSH ENOUGH FOR THESE TWO.
A Kearns High School student is facing criminal charges for assaulting a special needs student at school. Ivan Rigby, 18, was charged with kidnapping and assault after police were called to Kearns High on a report of an altercation. Officers learned that Rigby, and two other boys, 16 and 15, were targeting a special needs student during lunch. After reviewing security footage, they could see the 15 year old boy take the victims backpack, while the 16 year old boy restrained the victim. Rigby is then seen dangling the backpack in front of the special needs students while the 16 year old holds him in place. the Victim was eventually able to grab his back pack, but was then taken by the boys to the school doors, where they forcefully picked him up and threw him out of the building to the ground. “Granite School District is aware of this incident and the associated allegations. We’ve followed our Safe School procedures and have established appropriate consequences,” the Granite School District said in a statement.
