ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: CAN’T YOU LET HIM JUST WORK OUT IN PEACE?
A paralegal is California has been placed on leave for allegedly assaulting a gay man at a Planet Fitness.
via International Business Times
Boner Candidate #2: I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A SWORD
A man at Boston’s Logan International Airport claimed that he had no idea that his cane hid a sword inside of it after he was stopped by TSA.
Boner Candidate #3: I NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT ‘EM
A man was arrested in Florida after police found guns, drugs, and even a baby alligator in his truck.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: WELL, THAT’S QUITE A LUNCH
A mother in LA accidently left a gram of meth, and other narcotics inside of her daughter’s lunch bag for her daycare.
Boner Candidate #2: TUCKER AND THE KID
In an interview with Tucker Carlson, Kid Rock slammed Dr. Fauci by saying things like “F— Fauci.” Tucker Carlson backed him up by adding, “you speak for many when you say that.” Kid Rock was also seen saying “I am uncancelable,” while wearing a “We Are the People” hat in a teaser for the next episode.
Boner Candidate #3: I LOVE MY TURTLE
A kindergarten teacher discovered a live turtle inside of one of her students’ backpacks.
