Boner Candidate #1: SHE WAS STILL DROP DEAD GORGEOUS.
It is not known why a family in the Dominican Republic exhumed their grandmother’s body after 10 years but a video shows a family member holding up a woman’s decaying body while another person dresses the body in a new dress. People in the video are heard expressing their shock about how perfectly her body has been preserved.
Boner Candidate #2: IT MUST HAVE TAKEN HER A LONG TIME TO SAVE ALL THAT UP.
A 46-year-old Texas woman and wife of an assistant fire chief was charged with illegal dumping after she left three 5-gallon full of human feces outside of a police department. An officer went to investigate when he saw someone wearing a hazmat suit walking away from the building. When he asked what they were doing, “a female stated that the buckets were human s— and she was dropping them off.”
Boner Candidate #3: CAN’T YOU EXPRESS YOUR DISPLEASURE BY JUST NOT GOING TO CHURCH?
On Sunday morning, graffiti was found spray painted on the front doors of the Logan Tabernacle. The building is currently under construction and surrounded by a fence which someone was able to bypass in order to write “f— Joseph Smith” with spray paint. Crews have covered the graffiti but police are still looking for a suspect and are asking the public for tips.
