**WINNER!!**
Boner Candidate #1: NBC SAYS THEY DIDN’T….BUT EVERYONE KNOWS THEY DID.
While the whole world was watching the Olympics, United States Vice President JD Vance was booed. The entire world heard the very audible boo’s through their broadcast except Americans watching NBC. What’s ironic is that the Olympics was built around an idea that competition can exist alongside political tension without pretending the tension isn’t there. “We did not edit any crowd audio for our presentation of the Opening Ceremony,” an NBC Sports spokesperson told Awful Announcing on Saturday. “The primetime replay and the world feed replay of the Opening Ceremony are both currently available to watch on Peacock.”
Boner Candidate #2: WE NEED TO GET CONTROL OF WHAT’S BEING SPRAYED IN OUR ATMOSPHERE.
If at first you don’t succeed try again. That’s what Utah lawmaker, Sen. Ron Winterton, attempted while sponsoring a bill around the conspiracy of ‘chemtrails’. He was voted down 2-4 from the Senate Government Operations and Political Subdivisions Committee. This was the second year Ron has tried to push a bill that prohibits an aircraft owner or operator to engage in solar geoengineering, and would make an offense a third degree felony. “We are probably the experimental lab rats on this to see does it affect us or not,” Winterton said. “And as you look at some of those chemicals, yes, they are harmful to our health, and so we should be able to get out in front of this.”
Boner Candidate #3: THEY WANT US TO BELIEVE COAL IS CLEAN AND CUTE TOO.
United States Secretary of the Interior, Doug Burgum, is creating a new mascot as an attempt to make coal cute. His name is Coalie, and he wears cute yellow boots, with a cute little jacket. Secretary Doug posted an AI image of himself with Coalie to pursuit his “American Energy Dominance Agenda.” To make anything cute all you need is a round body, big eyes, chubby arms with chubby legs, and even coal can look like huggable.
