Boner Candidate #1: LOOK AT THEM TOE SUCKERS, AIN’T THEY SNAPPY. SUCKIN’ THEM TOES SURE MAKES ‘EM HAPPY.
A California man has been sentenced the maximum sentence of 6 years and 8 months in state prison. Cristian Solorio, 28, of Modesto broke into a residents home, and waited until her father left before he decided to attempted to suck on her toes. He became obsessed with the victim after meeting her at her work, stalked her, and sent her multiple letters.
Boner Candidate #2: LOOK MAN WHEN YOU GOTTA GO, YOU GOTTA GO
An elderly school bus driver has been terminated after taking a leak during a March 30th bus run while students were on board. “The driver then allegedly relieved himself while sitting in the driver’s seat. This type of behavior in the presence of children, especially young children, is unacceptable,” police concluded.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: THERE IS BEAUTY ALL AROUND WHEN THERE’S ONLY ONE VOTE PER HOME
A fringe idea is polarizing social media lately, making our national election represent 1 vote per 1 household. A King’s Way assistant pastor and UPS driver stated, “Women weren’t made for battle. They were made for love. They were made for beauty. If you’re patriarch of your home and your voice is the voice of your home, then it should be that way in politics as well,” Mr. Clarke said. Doug Wilson, the pastor who built Mr. Hegseth’s denomination, stated, “A man penetrates, conquers, colonizes, plants. A woman receives, surrenders, accepts.”
