Boners

Boner of the Day for January 12th, 2023

Boner Candidate #1: THESE WHITE PANTS WILL TEACH HER A LESSON

A mother is charged with abusing her 14 year old, autistic child, by taking a ‘tough love’ lesson too far. Her mother continually told her daughter that her hygiene habits are inviting bullies at school. So one day she had her daughter dress in white pants during her menstruations cycle to gain an understand of how being “a slob” will impact her social life. The daughter bled through the white pants, and the mother dropped her off at school with no regard. The mother wrote that her daughter “came home in tears” and that the cruelty from the students was “ruthless.”

via Your Tango

Boner Candidate #2: SHE NEEDS TO DRINK SOMETHING TO GROW HER BRAIN.

Spending a summer drinking your dad’s beer, topless in the backyard, will grow your boobs according to Veronika Rajek. If you drink enough beer, everything will bloat eventually. She claims that while younger doing track and field is what kept her size down “But one summer I was sunbathing, like naked, and I drank my father’s beer and I think they grew like this.” High alcohol consumption can increase the amount of estrogen in a woman’s body. High levels of estrogen will increase breast tissue but also increases the risk of breast cancer.

via NY Post

Boner Candidate #3: BY THEIR LICENSE PLATE SHALL YE KNOW THEM

Two Flordia men have been arrested after being spotted in their pickup track with a makeshift license plate with “stolen tag” written on cardboard. Anthony Sosa, 31, and Chad Doulette, 36, are in custody and are up against a litany of charges including grand theft and burglary. One of the homeowners reported to cops the license plate had “stolen tag” written in cardboard making it easy for police to make the following arrest. Another resident said, “People who commit crimes like these are not the sharpest tools in the shed.”

via Click Orlando

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