Boner Candidate #1: I JUST COULDN’T LET HIM GO.
A man from the United Kingdom is jailed for storing his friends body in a freezer, because he is “overcome with grief.” Damion Johnson is in prison for two years due to preventing the lawful and decent burial of the body of his friend, John Wainwright. Prosecuting attorney advised, “The defendant says he was not thinking rationally and was not ready to let go of Mr Wainwright. As time passed, he had been unable to inform the authorities.” After Wainwright passed, Damion withdrew funds belonging to Wainwright, totaling £17,000. Damion also made 11 transfers to his bank account worth an additional £2,475.
via The Guardian
Boner Candidate #2: IT SHOULD HAVE WORKED; I MEAN, PEE IS PEE ISN’T IT?
A Florida woman, Jessica Beatty, was arrested on December 28 for possession of drug paraphernalia, and driving with a suspended license. As a stipulation for her release from jail, she has ongoing drug screenings. The purpose is to “detect the presence of chemical substances, or controlled substances,” according to cops. Beatty showed up with a fake sample from a dog, but she did not expect probation officers to watch the sample collection, which makes it difficult to fool to system. When Beatty was approached about the fraudulent sample, she admitted it was from her aunt’s dog, and intended to use during the drug screening.
via The Smoking Gun
WINNER!
Boner Candidate #3: THANK GOD…NO, THANK WHATEVER HIGHER POWER YOU EMBRACE, OR IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN ANY OF THAT, THANK, WHAT? GOODNESS? THE UTAH LEGISLATURE IS GETTING RIGHT TO THE SERIOUS BUSINESS OF TAKING CARE OF THE URGENT PROBLEMS FACING US.
A Utah lawmaker, Mike Petersen of North Logan, is proposing a law to mandate schools to exhibit framed copies of the Ten Commandments in a prominent location of public schools. The Salt Lake Tribune has not received a response from Peterson. Rachel Laser, CEO of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, said “In America, every child must feel equally welcome in their own classroom, regardless of their or their family’s religious beliefs. Now, they want schools to tell students how to worship. School officials cannot impose religion on students as a condition of getting a public education. Public schools are not Sunday schools.”
