Boner Candidate #1: THE CASE OF THE FLATULENT FLYER
A first hand farter was escorted off of an American Airlines plane. After the arbitrator was intentionally letting out all of his has, and making snide comments, he was taken off of the plane. A witness wrote on Reddit, “Before most people had boarded, I observed that this man was audibly disgruntled about something, maybe hungover, rough day idk, but as soon as he sat down he was grumbling about something under his breath, like ‘f—ing hell’ or something.” Once most passengers boarded, the man stated, “Well how about this smell?” where he proceeded to pass flatulence. The plane was hitting the runaway for takeoff, but when it came to a stop, an announcement over the intercom said, “Apologies but we are returning to the gate.”
via NY Post
WINNER!
Boner Candidate #2: CALIFORNIA POT SMOKERS HAVE JUST BEEN GRANTED A LICENSE TO KILL
Bryn Spejcher went over to her boyfriend’s house where they smoked pot out of a bong. Afterwards Bryn claimed to of experienced a “cannabis-induced psychotic” episode. She stabbed her boyfriend over 100 times, as well as stabbed herself a few times. The case advised a lack of culpability because the murder was guided by a psychotic episode, and “so she had no control over her actions”. Bryn was sentenced to two years of probation with no prison time. Bryn apologized to the victims father, “My actions have ripped your family apart … I am broken and aching inside. I hurt that you never see Chad again.” The father was upset feeling that the judge, “just gave everyone in the state of California who smokes marijuana a license to kill someone.”
via Fox 13
Boner Candidate #3: SCUM AND VILLAINY vs SCUM AND VILLAINY
The Chairman of the Arizona Republican Party, Jeff DeWit, has stepped down after an audio recording shows he attempts to bribe former opposing candidates, Kari Lake, to not run for Senate. He was caught asking Lake to “Just say, is there a number at which, name her price.” Lake refutes, “I can be bought? That’s what it’s about.” DeWit continues by saying, “You can take a pause for a couple of years. You can go right back to what you’re doing.” Dewit announced recently, “I said things I regret, but I realize when hearing Lake’s recording that I was set up. I believe she orchestrated this entire situation to have control over the state party. I am truly unsure of its contents, but considering our numerous past open conversations as friends, I have decided not to take the risk.”
via AZ Family
