Boner Candidate #1: CALL THEM WHAT THEY ARE…FAILURES ON THEIR DEATH BED
Fox News host Jesse Waters had words more than just heartless when it came to the homeless population. Jesse claimed, “Homelessness is not about lack of affordable housing — It’s about drug addicts that want to wander around and live in tents on the sidewalk. You have to call them what they are: These are people that’ve failed in life and they’re on their deathbed. And if we’re not honest about it, we’re never going to fix the problem.” The majority of homeless have some sort of mental illness, that is the main struggle of getting them back into some normalcy. Even if homeless people are failures, or not, they still need the help of society.
Boner Candidate #2: THERE ARE SOME SICK A-HOLES IN THE WORLD
Two kids have suffered burn type injuries after going for a ride on a slide that was slicked with acid. The children’s mother, Ashley Thielen stated, “I didn’t really think much of it, and then, my baby, who is one, just started crying. That was when I knew this liquid that they were around wasn’t water.” Police are still scrambling to the public to identify the suspects. Longmeadow Fire Dept. said, “We suspect that the perpetrators may have suffered acid burns to their hands or arms and their clothing may have indications of being degraded from contact with the acid.” The wounds of the children were mostly superficial, and will heal.
Boner Candidate #3: I MEAN REALLY SICK A-HOLES.
David White, a local crocodile tour guide, is speechless after finding the decapatated head still connected to the spine of his favorite crocodile, Lizzie. David sighed, “She was my favorite female crocodile, the first one I named out there. I named her after Queen Elizabeth because she had a habit of waving at you like the queen.” In the 70’s, saltwater crocodiles were nearly hunted into extinction until conservation efforts started. Crocodile conversationalist, Tom Hayes claimed, “When I tried to tip off police, they sounded like they were annoyed that I was even talking about it. Why does there seem to be cover-ups in the world of crocodiles?”
